Warmth
by Aces in spades
Summary: She was adrift in her own body, In her own soul. Adrift in a life that fell apart when she was making other plans. All she could see in her future was a cold vast lonliness. The deep abyss of her own imortality. Helen Magnus onboard the Titanic
1. Prologue pt 1

On Sunday April 14, 1912 some time after 11:00 pm, RMS Titatanic struck an iceberg and sank on the morning of April 15 at 2:20 am in the Atlantic 49 N 50 W. Of the 2,223 people on board, 700 survived.

In honor of the 100th aniversary.  
>And in memory of those who boarded the doomed ship And those who never got off. This is dedcated<p>

Glitch 'Advisor to the Queen'

Sliante, Hobbit

* YourSweetDemise

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><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong> Not owned by us we do not claim ownership nor copyright to any of the following:

Helen magnus, Will Zimmerman Kate Freelander Henry Foss

Nikola Tesla John Druitt Jack the rippper. The RMS Titanic and people onboard.

Except where indicated the people on board Titanic are real. Accounts are as factual as possible

Times given at the title of the chapter is the beginning time. . Any amount of time can elpse within the given chapter. Large missing chunks of time are implied as Helen working in her state rooms or in the Library and unimportant to the plot.

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><p><strong>Pairings<strong> Some brooding depressed Magnet; One sided implied Teslen

friendship: Waslen Grifson Magson and Grifnus

Also some implied recipricated Teslen because we cant help ourselves :)

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><p>Super major thanks To Dg for all her exstensive knowlegde about the Titanic. To Glitch for his expertise about Nikola Tesla. In addition to their writing duties<p>

Thank you to Vinnet,and Teslaslave, our Betas for fixing the many many MANY spelling and gramatical errors and some extra pointers along the way.

And to the creators of Sanctuary, Particularly Amanda Tapping And Jonathon Young for playing their characters to perfection. and to the writers who capture the spirit of human emotion.

A special thank you and sincerest gratitude to the historians who dedicate time and energy to learning about Titanic so that even 100 years later it is fresh in our memories.

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><p>A light drizzle fell steadily across the city, creating a fine mist in the darkening streets of New York. Nikola Tesla walked home with slow, tired steps. He tried to avoid stepping into puddles, but it was impossible with the narrow cobbled streets. Still worse were the stage coaches going by, splashing the vampire and soaking him from head to toe in ice-cold muddy water.<p>

He was freezing, wet, hungry, tired and dirty.

This was no way for the master race to live.

Nikola gathered his mail and a newspaper, then slipped into his hotel room. He pulled off his coat and hat, hanging them by the door. He slid his suspenders off, so they hung loosley from his hips and poured himself a glass of wine. With a light sigh, he sat down. He had no plans to leave for the rest of the night. He flipped through the mail and looked at an envelope he recognized as Watson's writing. He opened it quickly.

_Nikola,  
>Helen is heading to New York aboard the RMS Titanic. She should be arriving any day, but won't come directly to you. Don't mention this letter, as she requested you not be told of her coming. Nigel and I would normally have respected her wishes, but lately she's been out of sorts. We felt it's best she not be alone. As the pair of us are unable to be there, we were hoping you, Nikola would recieve her.<em>

We were hoping you could cheer her up, treat her to a night on the town. She has been locking herself away in tedius dusty research. Show her the dazzling city you've made your home...

Nikola put the letter down and took a sip of his wine. Ah, the places he could take Helen Magnus. He smirked. First, Central Park. He knew of a few Abnormals who frequented the large, wooded area. Then, he could show her Metropolitan Tower and the secret lab he had. Take in a show at the Bower and finish off with supper at Delmonico's.

If there was time, they could browse the Met. With a smirk, Nikola flipped open the newspaper, and his blood froze at the headline.

**Carpathia tells of Titanic Tradgedy  
><strong>_Scenes on board Titanic when liner started to sink_

Nikola threw down the paper and ran out the door into the freezing rain. No coat or hat and only one thought:

_Helen_


	2. Prologue pt 2

Chaos reigned over the warped wooden docks. The briny sea air tasted of pain and fear. The Carpathia was moored close by. People were moving without purpose. A zoo of shocked and panicked men, women and chilren wandered in circles, unsure what they wanted or needed. From the other side, people stampeded into the crowds, screaming the names of loved ones. Nikola headed into the thick of it with the others, though he knew even at the top of his voice, Helen would never be able to distinguish his voice from the tumultuous din.

He wandered about for an hour, looking for someone who could help. Anyone. So many cried and called for help. Then he heard a small voice in Serbian. Nikola turned to see a small boy crying out in his native tongue.

_"Where is Mama? Where is Mama? I've lost Mama! Please, sir, "_ he cried, grabbing a passing official. _"Help me find Mama?"_  
>The officer growled and shook him off. "I'm busy, kid. Go back to your mother," he muttered coldly and walked away briskly. Nikola sighed and knelt beside the distraught boy. He took his icy hand and tried to smile.<p>

_"Ill help you find your mother. My name is Nikola. How about you?"_ he asked encoragingly.

_"Pavle."_

Nikola nodded. _"Palve. I had an uncle named Palve. Where did you last see your mother?"_

"_On the boat. We were in the water and Mama pulled us into a boat. But then we were on the bigger boat and I got seperated. Please, Mr. Nikola. I'm all alone, and it's so scary."_

Nikola nodded and held out his hands. _"May I pick you up? I can walk faster than you. I can help you find your mother. And you can rest your feet."_

Palve nodded with a sweet smile and held up his hands for Nikola to pick him up. Nikola lifted him easily and carried him into the din. _"Tell me what your mother looks like."_

Palve motioned vaugly with his hands. _"She is tall. Like you. With hair that's longer than mine. But shorter than others. I don't know where she is. But she's very pretty. And she speaks Serbian. Like you."_

Nikola nodded and looked around until he found a flimsy tent labeled 'Family Location.' He walked in and looked to the officer in charge. _"Excuse me, I have a young boy here named Palve. He doesn't know English."_

_"Well, I don't speak his jibberish,"_ the officer said as Palve launched into a description of his mother. Nikola fought the urge to vamp, gave Palve a blanket from a nearby table, then headed back out.

_"Palve! Palve!"_ A woman ran up and hugged Palve as Nikola carried him back out. "_Thank you for finding my son! How can I thank you?"_ she cried and kissed Nikola.

_"Do you have a warm place to stay? At least for tonight?"_ Nikola asked in concern. _"It's cold, and you have a child."_

Palve's mother smiled and nodded. _"Yes. My husband is here. He worked many hard hours at many different jobs to bring us here."_

Nikola set Palve down and watched the pair walk through the throng of paniced people. He turned back to his search for Helen when he felt another tug on his sleeve. Palve was smiling up at him. He handed Nikola a small medal and ran after his mother. Nikola watched them disappear into the awaiting darkness.  
>He looked at the gold medalion in his hand and recognized the Patron Saint of Children.<p>

"Well. Someone's looking after you."


	3. Tuesday April 9 1912 11:48 am London

**Tuesday April 9 1912 11:48 am London**

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><p>For Dr. Helen Magnus, the day started out like any other. She awoke early, worked for some hours before breakfast with her friends, Nigel Griffin and James Watson and then went back to work. She considered skipping lunch to stay in her lab. A knock sounded at the door and she sighed.<p>

"Helen? Could we have a word? " James called.

Helen rolled her eyes."I'm quite busy, James. Can it wait?"  
>As much as she appreciated his motives, she hated when Watson turned his mind to her. It didn't take superhuman intellegence to see she had been out of sorts for the past forty years. But it was not something she wanted to discuss. Least of all with James Watson.<p>

"Helen, it's time for lunch. Come on out here," James returned, undaunted. "And don't try claiming you aren't hungry."

Helen sighed and put her equipment away. Watson smiled at her when she opened the door, despite her stony expression.

"I could always eat in my lab," she said stubbornly.

Watson raised an eye brow and dragged her from the doorway.

"And risk contaminating your experiments? Hardly sounds like you."

Helen ground her teeth but allowed James to pull her along down the hall.

"To be frank darling, Nigel and I have been worried about you."

"You needn't be," Helen growled.

"My dear Helen! I think we do!" James said with conviction. "It's so very obvious, even Nigel has noticed."

"Oi!" Nigel materialized on Helen's other side and looked sternly at James. Helen laughed in spite of herself.

"Nigel, I hope you plan to at least put pants on. I would like to eat alfresco, and the air is still a bit cool."

Nigel looked down at himself and nodded. James lead Helen out to the veranda. "Even Nikola is worried, Helen," he said, holding up a letter with Tesla's slanted writing. "He was talking abut booking a ship and visiting us."

Helen sighed and read the letter. "I better write him back. There's no reason for him to worry. I would hate for him to waste time and money he doesn't have." Helen turned toward her study, mumbling about 'worrisome men' when James spun her back toward the veranda.

"Not to worry, my dear. Nigel and I already wrote to him. But he did hit upon an idea."

"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later, he is suposed to be a genius, after all," Nigel said, coming down the stairs completely dressed, "what with all the vampire blood he has."

"And what idea is this?" Helen asked cautiously as Nigel pulled her chair out.  
>With great fanfare, James pulled out a ship ticket and passport for the <em>RMS Titanic.<em>


	4. April 9 1912 12:08 pm London

**Tuesday April 9 1912 12:08 pm; London**

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><p>Helen smiled politely and looked from James to Nigel in puzzlement. "What is this?"<p>

"It's a ticket, Helen," Nigel replied proudly. James smiled wider.

"I know it's a ticket. Why do you have a ticket?" Helen smiled.

"For you, Helen," James replied as though she were a frustratingly small child. "You need a vacation, Helen. "

"Oh, no. I couldn't. Thank you both." Helen blushed and shook her head. "But I already had a vacation in the Galopagos Islands-"

"That was five years ago!" Nigel interupted. "And you spent it catalogging frogs. Frogs, Helen!"

"Recent research shows similarities in frog mitochondria with that of the Dragonette. After the groundbreaking discoveries of cows in relation to Welwas in bone structure and density-"

James tapped his spoon on the table. "You need to rest, Helen. A real vacation, one where you aren't working the whole time." He pushed the ticket toward her. "You need a break. Go. See New York. Nigel and I can hold down the fort here a few weeks."

"You need to unwind, Helen." Nigel nodded in agreement. "A few days adrift will do you some good."  
>Helen opened her mouth and then closed it.<p>

The truth was, she already was adrift. Her future with John was gone, her child delayed. All she saw in store for herself was long endless years in a cold, vast lonliness. A deep abyss no one could save her from. But she could tell neither James nor Nigel. Immortality was her cross to bear.

"Boats really aren't my thing." Helen sighed politely. She perferred to throw herself into work. Keep her mind busy, so she didn't have time to think over everything. John, the Ripper, her broken heart. The pain that hovered constantly on the edge of her conscious mind.

"It isn't just a boat Helen. It's a _ship_. The ship of dreams. A veritable floating luxery."

"And one of the safest ships on the ocean today," James said replied, pulling out some newspaper clippings about the great ship. "A revolutionary new design gives the _Titanic_ sixteen watertight compartments. Even if one floods, they can close it off, and the ship continues on its way completely unaffected."

"They're calling it unsinkable. Helen." Nigel added excitedly, "The maiden voyage of the unsinkable ship. This is history! Groundbreaking."

"An old pateint of mine works for Whitestar. He sent me a ticket, first class all the way! Helen. You deserve this. You _need_ this. A few days at sea, a week in New York, and then you can come home. She's the first ship of her sort. This is the future. You need to be there."

Helen laughed. "Alright then. Ill go, on one condition."

"Anything," James and Nigel replied in unison.

"Don't tell Nikola."


	5. Wednesday April 10 1912,10:43 Southhampt

**Wednesday April 10 1912,10:43 Southhampton**

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><p>Helen stepped out of the car into the early spring sunlight and looked up at the huge steel structure in awe. The long, grey hull stood majestically in the harbour. Nine decks towered proudly over the other ships with four funnels reaching skyward, as though determined to harness all the elements of the planet. There was no question where this spectacle of grandure received its imposing hundred and eighty-two feet, nine inches in length and ninety-two feet in breadth, the behemoth almost blocked the sun.<p>

"Incredible." Helen breathed

James nodded proudly. "Magnificent, isn't she? Forty-six thousand, three hundred and twenty-eight tonswith a cruising speed of twenty-two and a half knots. The Titanic can carry 2,603 passengers. Seven-course dining, your own suite, and working electricity. Curtesy of something Tesla designed, from my understanding. Come, let's get you settled," he said, lifting up one of her suitcases and attempting to grab two others.

"That isn't necessary, James," Helen protested, taking her bags from his hands.

"Nonsense, my dear. As it is, you travel far too light." He smiled and walked up to a nearby sailor holding a passenger manifest. "Pardon us, Old Boy, I have a first class passenger here. Helen Magnus." He smiled and held out the ticket.

Helen watched as long lines of people with carpetbags allowed a doctor to inspect their mouths and scalps. The sailor looked the pair over as Nigel caught up with another of Helen's bags.

The sailor looked at them and shook his head. "We're only loading third and second class. They need to go through inspection, you understand. If you can come back at 11:30, we'll be loading first class. We willl be happy to escort the lady personally to her quarters." He looked apologetically to Helen. "I'm terribly sorry, Miss."

Helen smiled graciously and shook the man's hand. "Not at all, sir. I can wait. How long will inspection take?"

"Oh, don't worry, Miss. Only third class is inspected. For the saftey of all. We don't need their vermin on board."

Helen pursed her lips. The doctor in her understood the pandemic an outbreak of parasites would mean on a confined ship,but the humanitarian in her rebelled at the treatment of people who didn't have bundles of money to throw around haplessly.

"James, Old Boy!" a voice called from behind. Helen turned to see three men striding along. James hurried forward to meet the middle man, a redhead.

"Wilson. How good to see you again!" James smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Helen, Nigel, I told you about Jabez Wilson, did I not?"

"The red headed league. I belive you did. Quite the runaround you got on that case, eh?" Nigel laughed.

"Ah yes, fun times indeed." Wilson laughed in embarrassment. "This is Mr. Griffin you spoke of so many times? So that would make you Ms. Magnus?" he asked, enthusiastically shaking their hands.

Helen looked at the pair flanking Wilson. One was a tall, sturdy man with a round face and genuine smile. The other, thin and gangly with what Helen was sure he thought was an impressive mustache.  
>She held back a smile. Something about his stance reminded her of Nikola Tesla.<p>

Wilson smiled and gestured to them. "May I introduce Meesirs Joseph Ismay and Thomas Andrews. Mr. Ismay owns all of White Star Line and gave us the financial resources for a luxerious ship beyond any other built today. And Mr. Andrews designed and built it. These are the men who willed _Titanic_ into being. And here we have the final result! An unsinkable ship!"

"Practically unsinkable."

James smiled. "Pleasure. And allow me to introduce Nigel Griffin and Helen Magnus. School chums I've kept in contact with over the years. Helen will be sailing with you, first class."

Andrews smiled and kissed Helen's hand. "Pleased to meet you, Miss Magnus. We are glad to have you aboard."

"Dr. Magnus, if you please," Helen corrected automatically. Ismay laughed.

"Well, a lady doctor? What is the world coming to?"

Helen stiffened as her eyes turned hard as flint. "Mr Ismay. Is there any particular reason you think a woman cannot be a doctor? Is there any reason you assume a woman would not be up for the task? I will have you know right now I worked just as hard as any man to learn biology, anatomy, phisiology and kinsiology. I learned faster than some of the men, and I excell in my field. I learned at my father's side from the age of three and fought long and hard to get into the school of my choice. I had to endure snide coments from my classmates and teachers. I had to fight the ignorance and sterotypes of the administration every step of the way. And now, when I have not only acomplished the requirements set at the highst degree but excelled at them, you are going to come and presume you can question these credentials because of my sex?"

Nigel shifted uncomfortably. James cleared his throat.

"Mr. Ismay. Tell us more about your ship? " he said quickly, dispersing the tension.

"Oh, I can hardly take credit."Ismay smiled. "Mr. Andrews designed the entire ship from stern to bow and everything in between. History will remember Mr. Andrews as the man responsible for all this. He's the one who made all this happen."

Helen stopped listening and stared unseeingly at the great ship.. London, New York, the middle of the ocean-what did it matter? Surrounded by hundreds of people, Helen was alone. Shrouded in a cloud of misery she couldn't shake. Now she had seven days on a large luxery liner to keep her idle. It was the last thing she needed., but she had promised Watson.

So in true Magnus form, she plastered on a smile and endured it.

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><p><strong>notes<strong> Jabez Wilson is from The Adventure of the Redheaded League, a famous_ Sherlock Holmes_ story.  
>Special thanks to DG and our Beta Vinnet for helping with the fight between Ismay and Magnus<p> 


	6. April 10, 1912 11:30 am Southaton

**Wednesday April 10, 1912 11:30 am Southampton**

Helen passed the time reading her journal entries on the eating habits of the harpy she recently accepted into her Sanctuary.

"And remember, the Knucker doesn't like a lot of light. They are mostly nocturnal creatures. And don't let the Mogai's eat after midnight. And don' t forget about the new shipment of-"

"Helen relax!" James laughed. "I' ve taken care of the sanctuary before. Nigel and I have everything under control. Don't worry so much."

Helen sighed. "I know. But I still don t like leaving like this."

Nigel looked at his watch and smiled. "Too late now love, it s time to go." he picked up one of her small suitcases as James grabbed another one. "Listen Helen. We know you've been out of sorts. "

"And we know you've been trying to hide it."  
>Watson added and kissed her cheek. "And we know you better than that. Just sit back and enjoy the trip, Helen. You've been working too hard."<p>

Helen plastered on a smile. She picked up two more of her bags and followed James back to the ship. "I'll see you in 2 weeks then I suppose." After taking her bags from her escort, she boarded the ship. Then looked back and waved to Nigel and James.

"Well now!" A loud voice laughed from behind. "Good to see another passenger in first-class who can put on her own Britches."

Helen turned to see a stout motherly woman. She looked slightly rugged, like she hadn't been born to privilege. She was carrying four or five luggage bags. Helen smiled.

"Well I thought I'd get started on my own. No need to trouble someone to do something I can do for myself."

The other woman smiled widely and put one of her suitcases down. "Well now that's a refreshing idea. Good to make your aquatince. I'm Margaret Brown. But everyone calls me Maggie. Margaret is too formal and Mrs. Brown is just plain _Stuffy_." she grinned.

Helen smiled and shook the energetic Maggie's hand. "Dr. Helen Magnus. Pleased to meet you"

"Doctor eh? I like the sound of that. What brings you onboard the _Titanic_? Anyone in America for you?"

"A little R and R. I have an old school friend in New York." Helen replied evasively. She had no intention of seeing Nikola Tesla, as soon as Titanic docked; she was booking the first ship back. But no need to tell Maggie that. "How about you?"

"My grandson fell ill. I booked my way back to New York, as fast as possible. Landed on Titanic. Couldn't ask for a better way. Maggie said. He'll be glad to hear grandma will be with him in a week."

Helen nodded sympathetically. "I wish you both the very best. Do let me know if I can help in any way?"

Maggie smiled and nodded "Sure thing Doc. I really appreciate the offer. Will you excuse me though? I see a friend of mine I want a word with." she nodded and lifted up her suitcase, heading over to a tall man in a grey suit. "JJ! Good to see you arrived." she called.

Helen smiled and turned back to search for her rooms. A steward walked up with a small bow. "Pardon me, Miss? Might I show you to your room?" He asked, taking the bags from her gently. She nodded and handed over two of the luggage cases.

"Please do, I'm all turned around." she followed the sailor across the deck, marveling at the gargantuan ship and all the luxuries it provided.

"Heated swimming pool is over there, the swimming pool is reserved for first class passengers only. Salt water pool costs $1 per person. Woman s hours are 10 am until 1 pm. Turkish bath, squash court, gymnasium and library. All of our 840 staterooms are equipped with electric lighting and heating. Specially designed by an inventor in New York. Uhm Tesla. I m sure you heard of him."

Helen made a light noise of agreement in the back of her throat.

"The main dining hall is here. Meals are at 8, 12 and 5. Tea at 3:30. The smoking lounge is through there if Mr. Magnus wants a brandy." The steward smiled at Helens look of amazement and opened the door to her cabin. "This is your room. Parlor sitting room private bath and bedroom. Shall I help you unpack?" he asked, setting the suitcases on the coffe table. Helen hurried over with a smile. "Oh. No thank you." She said quickly. It would never do to let him see the Cyclops diagram she smuggled in when Watson wasn t looking. "What time will we be casting off?"

The steward checked his watch. "12 noon. So any minute now. Would you like anything else?"

"No. I think I'll get some air." Helen replied. The steward bowed and left. Helen set down her bags and walked out to the stern.

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><p>Notes :<p>

**_Knucker_** is a dialect word for a kind of water dragon, living in knuckerholes in Sussex, England.

_**Mogai**_ Is the furry little creature in the 1984 movie Gremlins (and 1990 Gremlins 2) voiced by _Howie Mandel_ . Mogai is a chinese word for monster. There is no specific lore for them.

Magaret Brown is known better now as 'The Unsinkable Molly Brown' but she never went by Molly.

The swimming pool was a first on Titanic. It was costum men and women not swim together. To acomodate this, Titanic had morning swim for women and afternoon swimming for men. The salt pool was six feet deep.

_Slainte_


	7. April 10,1912 12:00 Noon

**April 10,1912 12:00 Noon Southhampton**

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><p>Helen walked across the open promenade, taking deep breaths. The stewards' comment about 'Mr. Magnus' had unsettled her. After all the long years, everything John had put her through, everything he had done, she still wanted to be Mrs. Druitt. At the same time the idea made her sick.<br>She sighed and leaned against the railing, not caring if her white gloves got dirty. It was a ridiculous fashion anyway. Why white gloves? Like the world was a filthy abhorrent thing. As though women of society were so fragile, the second the touched the horrible world, they would die from the exposure. And why why why did the go all the way up to the elbow? Did women in New York even wear the tedious things? Helen snarled and began removing the offensive white gloves. She was startled by a sudden blast from the horn and looked up as a gangly young man came and stood beside her.  
>"Incredible, isn't she?" He smiled. "The propellers alone are amazing. Two have three blades, measuring 23 feet and 6 inches, weighing in at 38 tons. The center propeller 16feet, and 6 inches, weighs 17 tons, all of them solid bronze "<br>"Certainly is magnificent." Helen admitted in awe. "Were you one of the builders?"  
>The man laughed. "No. I'm just an engineer who knows quality work when I see it. I'm Cameron, by the way."<br>Helen was about to reply when she heard a cry.  
>"Look out!"<br>Helen looked up in time to see the SS New York snap free of her moorings and lunge forward. Helen gripped the railing nervously. In her peripheral vision she saw a man in titanic uniform arrive on deck.  
>"Hard to starboard! Hard a starboard!" He called. The yell reverberated throughout the ship, like a long echo. Slowly, all too slowly, the ship inched to the right, away from the oncoming Ship.<br>Helen watched with wide eyes and barely breathing as a small tugboat marked Vulcan slipped between the two ships, pulling the prow of the New York away from the Titanic.  
>Several deck hands nearby roped in the empty ship. Helen breathed a sigh of relief.<br>"That was close."  
>"A little too close!" A man said "I'm getting off in France." he shook his head and hurried off.<br>Cameron rolled his eyes. "Superstitious old fool." He laughed. "Ridiculous woman's talk turns my stomach. No offense" he added to Helen who made a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat.  
>"If you excuse me I have to go." She said coldly and walked off. She thought maybe there was any information in the library. Sure it would be marked as fictional, but even an obscure reference could open doors.<p>

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><p><em>Notes <em>Cameron Jamison (Brownie points for who can guess where his name is from) Is a fictional charater. We wanted someone who was a boor and a jerk without hurting the reputation or tarnish the memory of anyone who really sailed on Titanic.  
>Slainte,<p> 


	8. April, 10 1912 12:45pm

April 10, 1912 12:45pm

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><p>Helen left the library after a long fruitless search and she took a deep breath of fresh air. She had just crossed to the enclosed promenade when a pair of children ran past. Helen smiled wistfully and had just turned to watch them when someone walked headlong into her. Helen gasped and stumbled, but regained her balance and looked to the person who ran into her.<br>"So sorry miss; really I am," a man in a chefs coat said apologetically. "Terribly sorry. I…I wasn't watching where I was going and I…I didn't - I didn't mean anything by it miss. I hope I didn't ruin your dress."  
>"No, its fine," Helen smiled and dusted off her emerald traveling dress.<br>"I'm terribly sorry. There was a great shudder and all my cakes fell. I'm the head baker here on Titanic. Charles Joulin. I came up to see what happened. After putting my kitchen back in order… We aren't moving yet and we should have been off an hour ago."  
>"Dr. Helen Magnus. We nearly had a run in with another ship. But everything seems to be under control now. I was just wondering when we would be on our way, myself."<br>The baker shook her hand enthusiastically. "I do hope I didn't ruin your dress?"  
>Helen looked down at herself and shook her head. "No I think its fine. Does it look bad?" she asked uncertainly. Joulin smiled and shook his head.<br>"No. You look fine. I could eat you up."  
>"I daresay you could, being a Wendigo," Helen smiled<br>The pale being gaped in surprise "Oh please Miss... you can't tell anyone, I can't have people knowing. They get the wrong idea. I swear to you Miss, I've not eaten anyone. Not ever. I'm not dangerous, I promise. Here look" he reached into a pocket and showed her a flask of alcohol. "Whenever I take a draw on this, I don't feel hungry. It lowers my body temperature and curbs my appetite," he continued "I swear Miss I've not eaten a soul, not a soul"  
>"It's alright. I've made it my life's work to protect Abnormals. Your secret is safe with me."<br>"Oh you're THAT doctor Magnus" The Wendigo brightened considerably. "I beg your pardon miss…Doctor I mean. I wasn't expecting a lady. No offense, you understand. But to run an entire sanctuary, it'd be a lot for one person and you look like one of them dainty little things as what drink tea with one pinky in the air, and scream when they see a mouse," Joulin said with a little flounce.  
>Helen laughed. "No, not at all. I think I have some vampire medication in my belongings, if you that it might help? I have never tested it on anyone other than an old friend of mine. But if you would like to try it, I'm open to investigation. "<br>"No thanks Doc. I got what I need here." Joulin grinned and held up his flask. Helen nodded.  
>"Alright but don't drink too much or you'll be as cold as the Labrador Sea." Magnus cautioned.<br>The man-eater nodded "Doctors orders eh?"  
>Helen smiled and nodded. "Indeed. I'm off to find the captain, to find out when we'll be on our way again."<br>"Captains probably out checking the ship after a near collision; you should find Commander Lightoller in the wheelhouse."  
>Helen nodded. "Alright I'll look there. Thank you. It was great meeting you."<br>Joulin nodded and gave a light bow. "Likewise, I guarantee." He smiled and toddled off. Helen knew it wasn't from the drinking; Wendigos had trouble when moving at human speed.  
>Magnus made her way to the wheelhouse. There she met a tall man with sloping shoulders and a somber face talking with another man. He had a large walrus moustache and a receding hairline.<br>"...Inspection results are in. We don't have a single case of Lice bedbugs or fleas, Sir." the second man handed a bundle of papers over. The first man nodded.  
>"Excellent. But the captain wishes to keep the gates locked just in case." The commander answered. "No reason to contaminate second and first class."<br>"Gates?" the second man frowned.  
>"Yes, the gates bar the third class passengers from the other passengers. The gates are a regulatory measure to prevent the "less cleanly" third class passengers from transmitting diseases and infections to the others. It will save time when the ship arrived in New York, as only the third class passengers would need a health inspection. "<br>"You have them locked in like animals?" Helen cut in indignantly. "Caged like beasts? These are human beings you're talking about." Both men turned in surprise. The tall man blushed.  
>"I assure you Madame. It is just as much for the convenience of them as it is for anyone else. It would be easy for a small child to slip out and get to first deck and then if he doesn't speak English, how will we get him back to his parents?"<br>Helen stared back stony faced. "A cage is a cage."  
>"They won't be locked all the time," the shorter man said.<br>"They aren't locked in the lower deck" the taller man said diplomatically. "They are secured within their section of the ship. But we appreciate your concern, miss…"  
>"Magnus. Doctor Helen Magnus."<br>The shorter man looked at her curiously. "Doctor you say? I don't suppose that means Medical doctor?" He asked.  
>Helen nodded feeling the old annoyance peeping in. "It is. I studied at Oxford."<br>"Ah an excellent school. I'm William O'Loughlin. Ships Doctor," he smiled. "I thought of the 2,200 people aboard 2,199 didn't have medical training. I could certainly use a hand Miss, if you don't mind me pulling you from your vacation."  
>"I would be delighted to help." Helen smiled sincerely. Idleness had never suited her. The sooner she could assist with patients, the happier she would be. "Just tell me where and when."<br>Dr O'Loughlin nodded. "Tomorrow morning? 11 am. I'll meet you on the prow. That's when I start my rounds. A deck first and then work down the 8 other decks."  
>The doctor smiled and tipped his hat before leaving. The crewman looked at Helen curiously. "My name is Charles Lightoller, Dr Magnus. What can I do for you?"<br>"I was wondering if you knew what time we would be on our way again?" She asked.  
>"It shouldn't be too long now. We'll be in France around 4 o'clock. We will probably stay there until tomorrow. Just in case."<p> 


	9. April 10,1912 1:42 pm

As the titanic headed down the channel to France, Helen headed to the Marconi room. She allowed herself a smile imagining the affronted look on Nikola s face if he saw the name. She knocked softly, reading the name of the officer on the door before it was opened John Phillips, Head Marconi officer

"Hello. I was wondering how much it would cost to send out a message?" she smiled politely. Philips opened the door and let her enter.

"The minimum fee for sending a wireless telegram from aboard the Titanic was $3.12. This cost included up to 10 words. Additional words were charged an extra fee" Phillips replied without looking up.

Helen pulled out the money. "Ten words? How about Watson, on titanic, everything s fine. GET ME HOME. Love Helen. Is that 10?"

Phillips laughed and nodded. "Precisely 10, Ma'am. I ll send it out directly."

Helen watched the Marconi officer punch out the message in Morse code and smiled. There was a point in their courtship John had sent her love notes completely in Morse code.

It was Nikola, initially who took up Morse code. He insisted the others learn it as well. Nikola was enthralled with the idea of a secret code. He invented several machines trying to improve the wireless signal. Nigel became the most enthusiastic. He and Nikola spent three solid weeks trading insults across the breakfast table, tapping spoons on their teacups.  
>Helen thought secretly James had learned it last. But he knew other characteristics to pick up on. With a clever barb from Nikola, Nigel s left eyebrow quirked up and John would bite his cheek, a refusal on his part to let the vampire know success.<p>

She never could pin down the exact reason for the animosity between John and Nikola. She decided long ago it didn t concern her.

Helen walked slowly back to her room lost in her memories. Fond memories of the five. Before the source blood. Before the Ripper. Small things bubbled up to the surface.

Nikola had built a rudimentary camera. He delighted in taking pictures of the others. But somehow no matter what he always contrived to cut Johns head out of the frame. Watson had to steal the camera so Helen could have pictures of John.  
>Nikola finally consented on condition he could have a few pictures of Helen and himself.<p>

Her tete a tetes with Nikola always made Helen laugh... Helen entered her suite and pulled out the cherry wood box where she kept the pictures

One was of her and Nikola. She was roaring with laughter as Nikola stood beside her trying to look innocent. The small devious curl to his lips and the mischievous twinkle in his eyes gave him away.

It had started out as just a shot of them standing side by side. At the last moment Nikola had leaned down to whisper something scandalous in her ear. She didn t remember what he had said exactly. Something about her ditching John and running away with him. Helen smiled wistfully and flipped through the pictures. Helen and Nikola reading in the park, the five in their favorite lab with Nigel and Nikola mixing random chemicals, Watson trying to stop them. A picture of John playing with a bunson burner. She remembered he was laughing drunkenly and shouting about blue flames.

Helen and Nikola whispering conspire (Taken by Nigel as some kind of blackmail. Helen was able to blackmail Nigel into giving it back) the next one taken by John as Helen engaged James and Nikola in a tickle fight. A few of her and Watson. He would stand straight and trying to look imposing. A few with Nigel and Helen. One or two with John sidling in at the last moment. Nikola would pout for days when that happened.

Nikola and Helen laughing at a soot covered Nigel, Helen reading, Helen playing chess (with John cut out of the frame) Helen dressed in a suit she borrowed from James, laughing at herself. The picture made her laugh at the memory.

She smiled and pushed the pictures aside to wholly study the picture of her and John. It was the night John had proposed and they had just told the others. Watson produced a bottle of champagne. John Helen James and Nigel each got a glass just before a sullen Nikola downed the entire bottle. He never gave a straight answer about what had been bothering him.

Helen and john sitting together, holding hands Helen John and Watson laughing at a 'toast' Nigel made.

She flipped through the pictures again and sighed. She had been in every single picture. She was wondering vaguely why that was when there was a knock on the door 


	10. April 10 1912 4:35 pm

**April 10 1912 4:35 pm **

Helen quickly put the photos away and opened the door. A smiling steward bowed politely.

"So sorry Miss Magnus. Dr. Watson said you would want this post haste. I tried to return it several times but you weren't here." he handed over a small bag Helen had left in the car.

"Oh yes thank you." Helen smiled and took the bag. She had changed her mind at the last minute and left it in the car. But there was nothing to it now except to keep the bag with her. The steward bowed again "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Not just now, thank you." she smiled thinly, wondering what to do with the small case in her hands.

"Very well then. Good afternoon miss." the steward bowed again and left. Helen closed the door and sank to her knees, opening the bag in her lap. Out fell the notes and newspaper scraps about a serial killer in White Chapel.

_Dear Boss,  
>I keep on hearing the police have caught me but they won't fix me just yet. I have laughed when they look so clever and talk about being on the right track. That joke about Leather Apron gave me real fits. I am down on whores and I shant quit ripping them till I do get buckled. Grand work the last job was. I gave the lady no time to squeal. How can they catch me now. I love my work and want to start again. You will soon hear of me with my funny little games. I saved some of the proper red stuff in a ginger beer bottle over the last job to write with but it went thick like glue and I can't use it. Red ink is fit enough I hope ha. ha. The next job I do I shall clip the ladys ears off and send to the police officers just for jolly wouldn't you. Keep this letter back till I do a bit more work, then give it out straight. My knife's so nice and sharp I want to get to work right away if I get a chance. Good Luck.<em>

Yours truly  
>Jack the Ripper<br>Dear Boss

So now they say I am a Yid when will they lern Dear old Boss! You an me know the truth dont we. Lusk can look forever hell never find me but I am rite under his nose all the time. I watch them looking for me an it gives me fits ha ha I love my work an I shant stop until I get buckled and even then watch out for your old pal Jacky.

Catch me if you Can  
>Jack the Ripper<p>

Sorry about the blood still messy from the last one. What a pretty necklace I gave her.

Yesterday afternoon Mr. G. Collier, Deputy Coroner for the South-Eastern Division of Middlesex, opened an inquiry at the Working Lads' Institute, Whitechapel-road, respecting the death of the woman who was found on Tuesday last, with 39 stabs on her body, at George-yard-buildings, Whitechapel.

Detective Inspector Reid, H Division, watched the case on behalf of the Criminal Investigation Department.

Alfred George Crow, cabdriver, 35, George-yard-buildings, deposed that he got home at half-past 3 on Tuesday morning. As he was passing the first-floor landing he saw a body lying on the ground. He took no notice, as he was accustomed to seeing people lying about there. He did not then know whether the person was alive or dead. He got up at half past 9, and when he went down the staircase the body was not there. Witness heard no noise while he was in bed.

John S. Reeves, of 37, George-yard-buildings, a waterside labourer, said that on Tuesday morning he left home at a quarter to 5 to seek for work. When he reached the first-floor landing he found the deceased lying on her back in a pool of blood. He was frightened, and did not examine her, but at once gave information to the police. He did not know the deceased. The deceased's clothes were disarranged, as though she had had a struggle with some one. Witness saw no footmarks on the staircase, nor did he find a knife or other weapon.

Police constable Thomas Barrett, 226 H, said that the last witness called his attention to the body of the deceased. He sent for a doctor, who pronounced life extinct.

Dr. T.R. Killeen, of 68, Brick-lane, said that he was called to the deceased, and found her dead. She had 39 stabs on the body. She had been dead some three hours. Her age was about 36, and the body was very well nourished. Witness had since made a post mortem examination of the body. The left lung was penetrated in five places, and the right lung was penetrated in two places. The heart, which was rather fatty, was penetrated in one place, and that would be sufficient to cause death. The liver was healthy, but was penetrated in five places, the spleen was penetrated in two places, and the stomach, which was perfectly healthy, was penetrated in six places. The witness did not think all the wounds were inflicted with the same instrument. The wounds generally might have been inflicted with a knife, but such an instrument could not have inflicted one of the wounds, which went through the chest-bone. His opinion was that one of the wounds was inflicted by some kind of dagger, and that all of them had been caused during life.

The coroner said he was in hopes that the body would be identified, but three women had identified it under three different names. He therefore proposed to leave the question open until the next occasion. The case would be left in the hands of Detective Inspector Reid, who would endeavour to discover the perpetrator of this ...murder. It was one of the most dreadful murders any one could imagine. The man must have been a perfect savage to inflict such a number of wounds on a defenceless woman in such a way. The inquiry would be adjourned for a fortnight.

she shook her head and sighed. "John how could you?" Helen gathered all the papers back into the bag and pushed it under her bed. She pulled the box over and shuffled around until she found a picture of The 5 altogether.

It took James and Nikola a week to figure out a way to set the camera up remotely. Helen was in the middle, seated in her favorite chair with John standing behind her. On her left stood James, trying to look tall and imposing. Nigel on his toes trying to keep a straight face.(He confided in Helen later that he was only trying to mess with Watson.) Nikola kneeling in the front of the picture. He didn't let the height difference bother him. He alone consented to kneel in front of Helens chair. His hand was scandalously close to resting on her knee. His face turned to look at her with what Helen considered a look of profound admiration, a look that always surprised her. As far as she knew the vampire only ever admired himself.

Helen Chuckled softly and placed the photo on her bedside table. Then she stood stretched and headed to the wash room to prepare for supper.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes<strong> The letters and news clippings are real documented evidence from the Jack the Ripper case (according to five websites)


	11. April 10 1912 4:39 pm

**April 10 1912 4:39 pm **

* * *

><p>Helen sat on the edge of the tub watching the hot water swirl in the tub as it filled. Running water still amazed her. Although she knew she didn't look it, Helen felt all 60 of her years. Part of her wanted to sink into the hot water and soak there until all her memories washed away, like bathing in the leathe. To let her mind float away on the tides of oblivion. She lay back in the water and closed her eyes.<p>

She stayed there until the water grew cold. With a heavy sigh she climbed out of the tub and dried quickly. Helen looked carefully through her evening gowns and pulled out a burgundy silk dress with black lace along the bottom and ruffles on the front in elegant tiers. The capped sleeves came down to just above the elbows. She slipped on matching buckle heels and black lace gloves. She fastened on a silver necklace with a teardrop onyx in the center of ringlets. The final touch.

Thus adorned, she grabbed a small clutch bag and, throwing back her shoulders, headed out to the main dining hall.

The first class Dining room certainly proclaimed style. The room itself was 114 foot long and spanned the full width of the ship. Seating 532 passengers at once, the largest dining room ever seen on a ship. The room was decorated in Jacobean style, painted in peanut white. With rich carvings on the long oak pillars and stained glass windows there was no doubt one could sit there for days and not see everything. The designs were based on Hatton Hall and some very fine houses in Hatfield, England. The furniture was oak and designed to add luxury and comfort at all times.

Helen strode along keeping her eyes forward, ignoring the idle gossip on all sides. It was neither pragmatic nor informative. Margaret Brown waved from a full table on the starboard side with the last of the sunset streaming in behind her. She smiled and nodded back, then headed for a smaller table, hoping to be left mostly alone. The man who had introduced himself as Cameron sat down next to her and waved to a man who resembled a walrus. "Ben! Over here! You don't mind do you sweetheart?" he smiled to Helen and waved his friend over before Helen could answer.

The walrus was trailed by a thin blonde woman with a vacant smile and a mousy couple.

"This is Benjamin Guggenheim and Madame Léontine Aubart." Cameron waved expansively at Walrus Ben and the blonde.

"Hey Benny, if you ever tire of Miss Aubart, you could do worse than this broad. What did you say your name was?" He asked Helen who shrank away.

"Dr. Helen Magnus. And I don't take up with other women's husbands." She replied shortly. Madame Aubart had the decency to blush.

"Doctor Magnus? Your husband sounds very important." Cameron smiled.

"I'm not married. I'm a doctor." Helen smiled thinly.

"An unwed woman traveling alone?" A new arrival asked with a light smile. "How adventurous. Allow me to introduce myself. Jack Thayer. Well John but everyone calls me Jack. And this is Mr. and Mrs. Banks. They got married just this morning.

"This is Dr. Magnus. A single woman traveling alone." Cameron said almost sarcastically.

"Well that is something. Women today have come to terms with their own strength. I think if they want to vote and work or travel on their own, who are we to tell them they can't?" Mr. Banks smiled.

"But tell us about your fiancée " Mrs. Banks smiled innocently at the engagement ring Helen still wore." Is he in New York?"

"Oh. No my fiancée is... Elsewhere." Helen replied evasively. She decided it was prudent not to mention he was wanted for the most horrendous murders of the last century. "He's a scientist. Works mostly with electricity." She took a large sip of wine.

Thankfully the waiter came. Helen ordered Sirloin of Beef, Parmentier Boiled Potatoes and Punch Romaine. She ate in silence, keeping her eyes down wondering why they fed enough for an army to a group of people who ate like birds. Helen concentrated on her meal as the conversation floated through the usual topics of idle gossip. She let the chatter wash over her and excused herself as soon as politely possible. Helen practically fled back to her cabin.

With a sigh, she lay on the bed fully clothed. What was she thinking? John didn't know the first thing about electricity. Why had she said he did? What if someone asked more questions? She didn't now Anyone who knew about electricity aside from...

Helen sat bolt upright "Nikola!" Her heart fluttered softly, like a butterfly trapped in a jar. She swallowed back a lump she didn't dare question and lay back with a soft sigh. Why not? If she used Johns name and James wit and Nikola s cunning. Some attributes from Nigel and perhaps her father...Helen could pretend a fiancée no one would be able to pin down. A small smile crept over her lips as Helens crystal eyes closed lightly.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes<strong> Cameron and the Banks are made up Helen and The FIVE belong to Sanctuary. Everyone else is a real person on the real Titanic. After painstaking research, we were able to find some of the food items that would have been available for First Class Dinner on April 10 1912.


	12. Thursday April 11, 1912 3:12 am

**April 11, 1912 3:12 am**

* * *

><p>Helens first impression was surprise. She wasn't even aware she was asleep until she woke up. Her second sensation was pain. Corsets were not comfortable sleepwear. . Part of her wanted to wiggle out of the blasted garment and go back to sleep. She roused herself drowsily and made her way up to the top deck.<p>

The floating city of Titanic ploughed onward, shining in the dark water like a star alone in vast space. Whitecaps broke gently on her prow, but otherwise the sea was dead calm. Helen turned to gaze up at the sky. Thousands of stars blazed cold and unaffected around a sliver of moon. The New moon was only days away. Helen looked out to the horizon, barely visible in the faint moonlight. What did the ocean look like, she wondered vaguely, with no moon at all?

_Cold_ she decided. _Cold and dark._She shivered despite the warm air.

"Perhaps I should warn you." said a voice close by. "It's going to get a lot colder before we reach New York."

Helen turned to see a man in in captain livery Broad shoulders and clear eyes, an able bodied sailor they would call him.

But for his wiry white beard and weathered face, he would look nothing of his 60 years.

Helen looked at him in shock. Was this how she would look? What would she be lie had they never tried the source blood? At the age of 60, she only looked late 20s if that. The captain smiled warmly. "So sorry miss. Didn't mean to startle you."

Helen Smiled and shook her head. "No. I just didn't expect to find anyone else out here tonight." Helen sighed and looked back out to the heavens.

"Well. First night of my last voyage." Captain Smith smiled wistfully up at the stars. "Guess you could say I'm feeling a little sentimental. And 12 miles of hallway just isn't enough pacing."

"12 miles? On one ship? "Helen sighed."Dear God."

Captain Smith smiled and nodded. "She is a marvel isn't she? I'm glad to live long enough to see something so fine as Titanic. Twenty years ago, if you told me they would have electricity on a ship, I would have eaten my hat."

"It must take a lot of light bulbs." Helen mused. Though the conversation took her mind off John, she never felt comfortable discussing electricity with anyone. To her it was a dangerous element humans had no business playing with.

"10,000 light bulbs." Captain Smith smiled proudly. "Fortunately, Mr. Morgan, our financial backer owns the patent. Edison worked for him. Cost a pretty penny to get the system they run on though. Fellow called Tesla."

Helen nearly swallowed her tongue. "Do you know him?"

The captain laughed. "No. From what I hear he is a complete shut in. Even before he was carted off to prison."

"Prison?" Helen repeated faintly. Had the vampire stopped taking his medication? Did he attack someone? Was her gentle Serbian friend a killer? First John and now Nikola...

"Poor Bloke." Captain Smith said with empathy. "Money is so much easier to spend then it is to make eh?"

Helen let out a long breath of relief. "Oh. Debtors prison." She smiled and tried to look sympathetic. That sounded more like her Nikola. Living like a king on a pauper's salary.

"Since the end of last year, according to Morgan. He keeps talking about Merlot."

"Merlot." Helen repeated with a smile.

"Mr. Morgan could tell you more." The Captain continues. "He should be here on the ship. I haven't seen him personally."

Helen swallowed nervously. Getting off seemed like a better idea every minute. "When should we be arriving in France?" She hadn't seen Nikola since she broke it off with John, she wasn't sure she could face him.

The captain frowned. "Terribly sorry, Miss. We passed France. And Ireland. We won't see land again until New York Harbor. "

Helen planted on a smile. "Oh. Then I guess I'm going to New York" She said with a laugh she was able to make sound light and breezy. "Thank you Captain."

"She's a fine city. And this is the finest ship to take you there. I believe we are giving a tour of the Ship to a few passengers. If you would lie to come, Mr. Morgan should be there. Mr. Ismay as well. And Mr. Andrews."

"Sounds wonderful." Helen smiled. "I suppose I had better rest up then."

"I best had be off too." The captain smiled. "I have a big day myself. Good night miss."

Helen shuffled back to her room and changed out of her evening wear. She considered redressing and going down to the library. There had been a mention about a Shing-na, a rare abnormal from China. She was pulling a long sky blue dress from her trunk when an overpowering exhaustion came over her. She changed quickly into her night clothes and fell back into bed. She didn't wake again until after sunrise.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes<strong>. The real Nikola Tesla was in debtors' prison from Dec of 1911 until 1913. We had to do a few backflips through fire rings to get Nikola into the story. We had to deviate from real life, but it works with the Sanctuary Universe, as debtors prison is no place for a vampire.

Super special thanks to Glitch for his invaluable information and for finding a way to revise it.

Sliante


	13. April 11,1912 11:22 am

**Ch 11 April 11,1912 11:22 am**

* * *

><p>Helen carried her medical bag at her side ignoring the customary stares she had grown accustomed to. Dr. O'Loughlin opened the door for her with a smile.<p>

"We have only one more area left." Dr. O'Loughlin said. "3rd class. 706 men women and children. Fortunately, most of them are healthy. "

Helen frowned at the gates as they passed, but kept her mouth closed. She followed the Doctor down another 2 corridors before anything eventful happened. There was a soft giggle from behind her. She turned to find a small group of children following her, whispering in French behind dirty, weathered hands. With squeals of laughter the children laughed and ran in several different directions, then slowly crept back. The eldest, a girl about 7 walked timidly up to Helen.

"Are you lost?" She asked in French. Helen smiled and shook her head.

"Rich folk don't come down here." The girl said with a shrug. "We thought maybe you were lost."

"No." Helen replied. "I'm here helping the Doctor. Why don't rich folk come down here?"

The girl tugged at one of her dirty pigtails. "We see them up on the top deck. The one that touches the sky. But they don't see us. They don't look." she reached out timidly and touched the silk hem of Helens dress. "So soft. My dad says when we get to America we'll be rich too."

Helen smiled and pulled out her Silk handkerchief and handed it to the young girl. "I'm sure he will. In the meantime you can have this." She smiled as the girl held the cloth to her cheek. "Tell me what you think of the Titanic?"

"It's the loveliest ship!" The girl exclaimed, hopping from one ragged foot to the next in childish restlessness. "I sleep in a real bed! With blankets and a pillow and everything! "

"And there's food. Lots of it!" Another child added. "I didn't go to bed hungry last night. And there was breakfast this morning. It was scrumptious! With real fruit."

"And soft bread." A boy nodded. The other children chimed in with all the luxuries of 'their ship'

"What about the Gates?" Helen asked. The children fell silent, but their eyes held the excitement of a shared secret.

"That is the best part, Miss." Said the eldest. "The gates lock out the rich children. We don't get rocks thrown at us. We are safe here. "

Helen smiled and nodded. _A cage is a cage.. Unless it's a refuge_.

"Last night I got a bath. With hot water and soap. There are two down here. " A boy of maybe four added solemnly. It must have been his first experience with warm water.

"It's almost lunchtime. We need to get back. The eldest said, corralling the younger children around her. Will you still be here later? We're going to have a party tonight." She smiled.

"It's a celebration. We're going to America!" The small boy smiled "Please say you'll come."

Helen smiled but before she could reply the doctor returned from the room. "I will if I can, but I think I need to be off." She waved goodbye and quickened her pace to catch up with the Doctor. "So very sorry. I got sidetracked."

Dr. O'Loughlin shook his head. "Nah that was an old London fellow I could handle all on my own. I brought you down for the next case. " You have a good touch with children. I think that will be a great help. We have a small boy with a cough who doesn't speak English. " He walked up to a cabin and knocked carefully on the door. "I have a pregnant patient I need to look in on tomorrow, I would appreciate any help you can give me. If you're up to it."

"I would love to." Magnus smiled, ignoring the pang of sorrow when she thought of her own frozen Embryo. A minute later the door opened and she pushed it aside. A woman holding a coughing child looked nervously between them.

"We have tickets. We paid we paid!" She cried frantically in Spanish. "Please please don't throw us out!"

Helen shook her head and held up her medical bag. "We are doctors. We've come to help you son. What's his name?"

"Jose." The woman said timidly holding the little boy out to Dr. O'loughlin. "He was named for my father. He has coughed for three days now."

O'Loughlin held the baby carefully and examined him closely. Helen spotted another girl in the cabin and asked to give her a checkup. Her mother assented quickly.

The Dr. pulled medication from his bag and gave it to Jose s mother. "It's just a head cold. Give him this every 3 hours. I'll be back in another few days. Will you be alright?"

José's mother took her now sleeping son back and nodded. Helen stood and followed the Doctor out. "The girl has a sore throat but that's already clearing up. " she reported. The doctor nodded.

"I can't tell you what a pleasure it's been meeting you, Doctor Magnus. I look forward to working with you again." The Doctor smiled as they made their way back up to First class.


	14. April 11, 1912 1:18 pm

**Ch 12 April 11, 1912 1:18 pm**

Lunch was another extravagant, elegant affair that Helen made as quick and painless as possible. She opted for the cafe instead of the dining hall in hopes of avoiding the brash Cameron and insipid chatter.

She only escaped one of the two.

"Well now! Ain't this somethin!" Maggie Brown caught Helen on her way back out of the cafe and smiled her infectious grin. "On a ship this big, you don't expect to run into the same person twice and yet here we are!"

Helen found herself smiling back at the boisterous woman. "No indeed. It is wonderful to see you."

"Same here Doc. The very same. Tell me. What have you been up to?" Maggie asked, looping her arm with Helens.

"Well this and that. Meeting new people, remembering old friends." Helen replied, not wanting to discuss the pictures. Or John. "I helped the Ship's Doctor this morning. Doctor Oloughlin. Very nice man. The highlight of my trip thus far. "Helen replied truthfully. It had taken her mind off her painful past at any rate.

"Working vacation eh?" Brown asked "Well now sounds like something worth hearing about. We'll have to have Dinner together sometime. Not tonight I got me a full table. Perhaps tomorrow?"

"I'd love that." Helen nodded. Anything to avoid Cameron at Mealtimes.

"Great. And you'll have to meet my friends the Astors." Maggie said as she finally released Helens arm. "JJ is the life of the party."

"Sounds delightful I'll see you there."

Maggie nodded. "No doubt. But you'll have to excuse me; I owe the boys a rematch at poker. give em a chance to win back some of their money." she winked. Helen laughed a genuine laugh.

"Good luck. I'm going to get some air, I think." Helen waved as Maggie disappeared into the smoking lounge then took a deep breath and turned back to the deck.

A pair of young women walked by, chatting and carefree and unhindered by the rules of society. Helen wondered what her daughter would have been like. She was certain she would have been a girl. A princess spoiled by John of course. Nancy or maybe Annie. Annie Magnus. Helen liked the sound of that.

Helen smiled as a small girl ran after the women. Her hair was dirty blonde with long thick curls and bright blue eyes. She smiled as she passed Helen, showing a gap in her teeth.

Helen wondered what her daughter would look like? Johns eyes her nose? Freckles on her cheeks perhaps? When she was small she would try to count them when she was put to bed. Her father hadn't had freckles. He was tall with sloping shoulders and a puffed out chest. He had a sparkle to his eyes when he was happy. The same light to his eyes when he talked about the sanctuary. Her daughter would help Helen in her work, she decided. Her child would know about abnormals. She would appreciate all creatures for what they were. Helen watched the light play across water, scattering diamonds on the caps of each rolling wave.

Someday, she decided, maybe not soon. She wasn't sure how or when, but someday. Helen would have her little girl.


	15. April 11 1912 2:00 pm

**April 11 1912 2:00 pm**

* * *

><p>A shadow fell across Helens shoulder. She looked up to find Mr. Andrews smiling down at her.<p>

"Good afternoon, Mr. Andrews. How are you?" Helen asked politely  
>Andrews nodded pleasantly "quite well, Dr. Magnus. Thank you. I thought I would take in some fresh air before..." He gave a sheepish grin. "Mr. Ismay insists on giving a tour of the ship to anyone interested. He roped me into it somehow."<p>

Helen laughed, remembering the impossible schemes Nikola could 'rope' her into trying. "Yes the captain mentioned that. You Mr. Ismay and Mr. Morgan."

"Not Mr. Morgan. It seems he changed his mind and stayed in England." Andrews sighed. "I think Mr. Ismay was terribly put out. He wanted to show Mr. Morgan how his money was being spent."

"Understandable." Helen nodded. Andrews smiled.

"Do come along won't you Doctor? I don't know that I can survive an afternoon in the company of a bunch of tittering socialites. I can't promise it'll be the highlight of your day. But I would like someone there who I know has a brain."

Helen laughed and looked at a pair of socialites who were repeating some gossip. "I would love to. When shall we start?"

"Our first dry run will be at 3:00 this afternoon. We meet on the grand staircase in the first class dining hall. "

"I look forward to it." Helen smiled Andrews tipped his hat and left.

Left to her own devices, Helen turned back to the ocean they used to talk about traveling around the world, the 5 of them. Nikola particularly. Had a taste for adventure. She would sit for hours and listen to him recount childhood 'adventures' he had exploring caves and old buildings with Macak "The most marvelous cat in the world." He spoke little of his homeland.

"There was nothing there, Helen. Absolute. So I left and never much intended to go back." Nikola would say with a bored yawn and a shrug. "But if you want to see it, Helen Love. I will take you there"

That was long ago. Seemingly longer to Helen, who stood on the stern looking at the ocean. Another lifetime. Before the ripper, or the source blood. Even before John. And the five. Only Helen and Nikola, the square pegs that spent their free time. Under the trees of Oxford Park, dreaming of all the adventures available in the then-large world. A respite from carving new holes into the sturdy unmoving unforgiving mold that was Oxford.

What had changed? What had changed _Them_?

The source blood certainly. But that change was more drastic and in the case of the others more immediate. The source blood had given Nikola long curved nails and sharp teeth. Features unbecoming of the mild mannered scientist. But in mannerisms he was the same as ever. Clever, snarky arrogant and adventurous. He soon traveled to Budapest and Paris then New York. He offered to take her, she remembered suddenly. _Begged_ her to go with him.

She had declined. She opted to stay in London, with John. For John. She watched Nikola pack a small bag and an erstwhile smile. She tried not to begrudge his luck. In her eyes Nikola was already a world class traveler. And he was leaving again. Without her. Leaving her.

Nikola was always restless, Helen knew that. Understood it even. No it wasn't Nikola that had changed, but Helen herself. She let out a rueful laugh at the irony. The ever unchanging Helen Magnus changed so drastically.

Helen Magnus who found the source blood and created a serum from it, who convinced the best and brightest of Oxford to try the source blood. She had taken it and waited for the change to come.

Waited with Patience and some envy when John teleported within a week. Patience and some frustration when Nigel found he could disappear a month after. Patience and exasperation when in a fortnight James could solve impossible problems with the smallest clues. Patience and some trepidation when , just minutes after his turn at the needle, Nikola s slate blue eyes went to pitch-black and his teeth grew long for want of blood.

Still Helen waited. A week a month a year a decade half a century. And the only change she noticed was the utter lack of change. But while the source blood kept her the same unchanging face, Helen herself had changed.

John had changed her. From the first woman in Oxford, traveler to be, John cultivated a man-dependent, humble stay at home delicate blossom. She wasn't sure when the change came in her. When had she gone from strong and independent world adventurer to blushing lily in love?

More importantly, when did John Change?

When did he stop being the soft spoken gentleman of old and became the bloodthirsty rage driven killer. And why had she not seen it sooner? Was she blinded by love? Or was it guilt?

Helen shivered. After all these years, she still didn't know.

Helen was shaken from her musings by a clock chime sounding in her ears. She looked up realizing she was at the top of the  
>grand stairway. She had been wandering aimlessly.<p>

The Grand Staircase descended five levels down to the E Deck in the famous appearance and continued down to F-Deck as an ordinary stairway. There were large glass domes that allowed natural light to filter into the main room. Oak paneling and detailed carvings, paintings, bronze cherubs with lamps and candelabra. The clock surrounded by an intricate oak carving.

Andrews smiled and ascended the stairs bowing to Helen.


	16. April 11 1912 2:42 pm

**April 11 1912 2:42 pm.**

* * *

><p>Helen walked in the back of the group breathing in the salt sea air and let the captain's voice wash over her. She stood tall and presentable, shoulders back chest out and head up.<p>

It was all she could do to keep from giggling herself senseless. Ismay puffed out his chest and strut energetically about the deck. It reminded her of James the first time he cracked a case on his own. To the public he was demure and humble. But among the 5, his friends he was arrogant and boastful. Almost to the point of annoying.

He finally settled down after Nikola took to following him around, puffing out his own thin chest

"2200 people are on board for the maiden voyage, but the Titanic is designed to hold more." the Captain smiled as several people nodded appreciatively. "Currently we are traveling at a good 22.5 knots."

"With all engines burning Titanic can go 24 knots - 28 miles per hour 45 kilometers per hour. Isn't that right Captain?" Ismay asked almost slyly. Helen looked to Captain Smith, who didn't hide his surprise and disapproval fast enough for her to miss it

"It can indeed. But for this the maiden voyage that won't be necessary." the Captain said smoothly. I've deemed our current speed sufficient. We are making excellent time. Smith smiled to the assembled crowd. "Even with the delay starting off from Southampton, we shouldn't be late getting into New York."

"Sir you said the last of the boilers aren't lit" one of the men asked. "Is that why there's no smoked coming from the last funnel?"

Helen looked up at the fourth funnel where no smoke issued forth

"Ah a good eye sir." The captain smiled. "But no, not at all. It isn't attached to any of our furnaces. The Titanic has 29 boilers and 159 furnaces. 24 double ended boilers and 5 single ended boilers there is over 8,000 tons of coal in the coal bunkers. The coal fired furnaces heat water in the boilers to generate steam. The steam is funneled to the triple expansion engines. Once the steam enters the engine cylinder it creates the necessary power to turn the propellers." The captain said proudly. "But we only needed three funnels for the smoke. The fourth one is quite useless. But there were complaints that the three funnels made her look. Unbalanced. So to appease the eye another funnel was added to the end. Completely useless of course."

"Begging your pardons, but I wouldn't say completely useless." A man came up to stand beside Captain Smith, wiping his hands on a dirty cloth. "It helps with ventilation, fresh air into the boiler rooms. And there's a ladder inside. Very handy.

"The Captain smiled at him and patted the man's shoulder."Ah. Mr. Bell. Our chief engineer. Ladies and gentleman, this is the fellow who keeps our ship running smoothly."

"I need a word with you captain. It's about Mr. Ervine."

Smith nodded and turned to Ismay. "Mr. Ismay. Do you think you can lead the group to the engine room? Mr. Murdoch will be waiting there for you." He nodded and turned to follow Bell a short distance away. Ismay nodded and lead the group in the other direction. Helen turned toward the stern wondering if she wanted to see the bridge or if she should strike out on her own and watch the propellers churn the water.

Helen shrugged and headed for the wheel house. The propellers were probably later on the tour. She slipped in just as Murdoch was talking avidly. "It cost $7,500,000 to build the Titanic and took three years to fully construct the ship.

When the Titanic set sail in Southampton, England were 40,000 eggs, 75,000 pounds of fresh meat and 1,000 bottles of wine. The Titanic's total capacity was 3547 passengers. As of right now we have 2,200 or so."

The assembled crowd murmured appreciatively and followed Andrews and Ismay back out to the open deck. Helen saw movement on the lower deck. She turned to see the children she met in third class that morning running along and beckoning to her. She broke away from the tour and headed down the stairs.

"Hello again." she smiled as the children crowded around. "And what might you be up to?"

"We wanted to see the ship." they cheered. "It's so big. It's like a city!" The eldest exclaimed "We saw you and we wanted to say hello. Will you be at the party tonight? At suppertime. Please do say yes"

Helen smiled and looked up at the top deck just as a brash laugh sounded above them. She craned her neck and recognized Cameron and several other men strolling along the top deck. Helen turned back to the eager faces of the children. "I would love to come." she smiled sincerely.

The children danced victoriously around her and ran off again. Helen watched them with a smile and turned to go back up to the top deck. It would be interesting to see how the other half spent their time. Hopefully they would be a little more lively.


	17. April 11, 1912 4:15pm

**April 11, 1912 4:15pm**

* * *

><p>Helen had a light tea on the enclosed promenade on Deck A watching the sea pass through the bright windows and the light play over the dark blue ocean.<p>

She was having a strange fluxation in temperament. In company, she craved solitude. When she was alone, her mind filled with impossible what ifs. She wanted someone, anyone to occupy her. To shield her from the dark swirling chaos of her own mind. Thoughts of John, their unborn baby, the frozen embryo in storage. The women John had killed the fact that it was John who had killed them. How he had left her. He left her all alone with nothing in the long dark abyss of her future.

Now she was on her way to New York and the only person she knew was her estranged friend who was locked away.

Why hadn't Nikola told her? Let her help him? Did he no longer count her as a friend? There was a time, long before the 5 when Nikola would have gone to Helen for anything. And she in turn knew no matter what, she could turn to him. Nikola had been one who administered the source blood, the only one she trusted to do it.

If she had lost Nikola, who did she have left? James and Nigel were back in London. They had sent her on this trip as a special present. And hidden agenda was never their style

Perhaps Nikola had been too proud? The great master vampire, genius inventor thrown in jail for not paying his rent. And asking for help from Helen, it would be too humbling. It would be up to her, then to seek him out Perhaps she could pay his debt and free him before she returned to England. Of course she couldn't let him know it had been her. . Helen sighed and set down her tea. No, of course Nikola would guess at once it was her. What had been their last conversation? Surely she hadn't let him slip from her life as easily as exhaling? Helen stood slowly and headed back to her cabin.

What would she do? New York was a great big city with plenty to do and lots to see, she was sure. But the prospect of being alone with only her thoughts didn't appeal to her. 'Helen gave a rueful smile. Perhaps she would have to break Nikola out of prison just so she didn't have to be alone. Of course, then she would be stuck with Nikola. She pulled a face threw the brooch she had been holding across her cabin in frustration. After letting her anger subside, she began to dress for dinner

After all, she had days before they reached New York. She didn't need to decide anything just yet.

Helen looked out her window and sighed. It was going to be a long week.


	18. April 11 1912 5:30 pm

**April 11 1912 5:30 pm**

* * *

><p>Helen ducked quickly past the first class dining hall and descended the stairs quietly. Part of her felt like she didn't belong down here. Like she had escaped from her pen and any minute now alarms would go off. Crew men would come from every corner to catch her, corral her and herd her back to her quarters.<p>

Helen found it exhilarating. It was the most alive she felt in years. She hadn't felt so vibrant since the search for a grindylow menacing south wales. November of 1887. The last case the 5 had worked as a group. Three days tromping through marshes listening to Nikola whine about the mud. On the fourth day, they set a base camp and broke into groups. John and James went south while Helen and Nikola went north. After fruitless hours of John following his own tracks and Nikola tracing James, they rendezvoused back to base camp where Nigel was keeping watch. He was invisible and had caught the beast in Watsons Snuff. James still turned red when they brought it up.

Helen descended the last of the stairs and slipped through the open gates. Loud uproarious music reached her ears. Nothing like the soft violin and cello melodies of First class dining. She could make out a fiddle, several violins, a flute and an accordion. There was a background of people drumming rhythmically on a wood surface. Helen followed the music to a dining hall just as large but less decorative than the one upstairs. She stopped at the door and looked in. Helen licked her lips nervously as she realized she could be gate crashing. She was on the verge of turning around and leaving when she was spotted by a young looking woman with a broad grin.

"Here now, you there!" She called in a broad Irish accent, pouncing on Helen. "Where are your manners?"

"I'm truly sorry I didn't mean to-" Helen flushed then stopped as she was lead into the dining hall and handed a beer. The first woman smiled. "You can't leave till you've had at least a pint."

Helen smiled and accepted the drink "Thank you. I hope I'm not intruding."

"Not at all. What's a party if you're gonna start pushing people out?" The woman led Helen to a table. "But you're a wee bit over dressed Dearie. You didn't have to put on your Sunday best for the likes of us." She winked.

"Thank you I'll remember that for next time." Helen smiled "My name is Helen."

"Pleasure to meet you. My name is Nora Murphy" The woman smiled, stood on the nearest table and pulled Helen beside her. "Attention we have a special guest tonight!" She called to the assembled crowd. "A Miss Helen..." Nora paused and looked to Helen "I didn't get your last name love."

"Magnus" Helen blushed. Nora smiled and winked.

"Miss Helen Magnus. Let's say we make her feel welcome." Nora smiled as the table began thrumming. 50 or so people were pounding rhythmically on the polished wood (the table cloth had long been seized by a group of children for a makeshift tent)

The band struck up a fast paced tune as a small group of men stood beside Helen and began to sing.

_Pretty miss Helen Magnus dressed in finest silk  
>With hair as gold as fresh cut stew<br>and skin as soft as milk  
>She comes to us from first class, such a party this well be<br>We promise you the grandest t-i-i-ime _

If you'll consent to dance with me." The lead singer stepped forward and bowed to Helen who laughed and curtsied.

"I don't know the steps I'm afraid." She whispered. The man smiled and winked.

"That's quite alright. None of us do. We just make 'em up as we go along." He smiled and whisked her down the length of the table. They were met with encouragements and good natured insults until another couple joined in. Helen let herself be whisked to the end of the table where she was carefully lifted down and carefully set on her feet. A second man bowed and spun her down half the length of the hall before handing her over to a third dance partner. She caught a glimpse of Jose and his sister in the tent. He looked healthier than the last time she saw him.

"The rich lady! It's the rich lady!" Helen smiled as the first group of children ran up to her. "We didn't know if you would actually come." The French girl admitted. Her hair looked cleaner. It hung loose around her face in soft waves. The dress was the same she had been wearing earlier.

"Isn't this fun? I've never been on a ship before." one of the other children smiled excitedly. "Will you be staying for supper?" he asked, giving Helen a menu.

Rice Soup  
>Corned Beef and Cabbage<br>Boiled Potatoes  
>Cabin Biscuits, Fresh Bread<br>Peaches and Rice

"I would love to" Helen smiled brightly before she was lifted back into the dance. "If you'll pardon me." she laughed and spun away among the dancers. Helen was passed around a bit more before her hands were taken on either side and she was placed on the table with a row of other women.

"Hopa!"

Helen emulated the others in a quick step before they all jumped back off the table. Somewhere above the dinner horn sounded. The table cloths were collected and placed back on the tables as the first course was brought out on clean white plates. Helen caught a glimpse of the young French girl folding her silk handkerchief on her lap. Helen was seated between two men who had been potato farmers and across from a fisherman's wife. Just to her left was a pair who were undoubtedly brother and sister. They were having a good natured squabble over elbow room.

"Who are you traveling with?" The young woman asked Helen. "I have my whole family. 8 of us all in one cabin so I'm really glad we can move around the ship as we please. Especially when he starts to snore." She grinned and poked her brother in the ribs. "I'm Lillian Goodwin by the way and this is Charles."

Helen shook her head. "I'm traveling alone."

"Lucky you." Charles rolled his eyes. "The first chance I get I'm ditching her on an iceberg."

"Watch it or I'll throw you overboard." Lillian retorted and stuck her tongue out at him.

Helen laughed as she was reminded of more than one evening spent in the company of John and Nikola.

The disastrous Christmas dinner of 1885. Helen had invited all of the Five over for dinner. She had Implored Nikola to come home for the holidays. She left out the small detail that John would be there as well. Three minutes after Grace, what started out as a subtle insult contest had escalated into a massive food fight. It ended only when Nikola ducked a well-aimed pumpkin pie just in time for Gregory to walk into the room. If it hadn't been his favorite, Helen was sure her father would have banned both men from the house.

After the meal everyone settled back in their chairs. A man walked to the front of the room with a guitar. He sang a farewell song as a silver cup was passed around. Helen recognized it as a parting cup. Everyone took a sip and passed it on to their neighbor.

"_Of all the money that ere I had, I spent it in good company.  
>And of all the harm that ere I've done, alas was done to none but me.<br>And all I've done for want of wit, to memory now I cannot recall.  
>So fill me to the parting glass. Goodnight and joy be with you all.<em>

_Oh, if I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile  
>There is a fair maid in this town that sorely has my heart beguiled<br>Her rosey cheeks and ruby lips, she alone has my heart in thrall.  
>So fill me to the parting glass. Goodnight and joy be with you all."<em>

The crowd broke up. Helen sought out Nora and the children who invited her to thank them heartily. She reached the top deck again just as the sun was setting.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Notes<span>**: Lillian exaggerated a little about 8 in one cabin, since men and women were separated in 3rd class, whether they were married or not. Lillian and her mother would be put in one cabin with her younger siblings, while Charles would have been on the other side of the ship with his father (and possibly two other men in the same cabin)

Be that as it may; the White star line was still respectful of the 3rd class. Most companies would require the 3rd class to bring their own bedding, and food. And seldom offered them Cabins

to those familiar with the story of "The unknown child" Lillian and Charles were the elder siblings of Sidney Leslie Goodwin

Helens song is comprised with the old traditional song _Rocky road to Dublin_ (Curtsey of **Glitch**; but he's a little biased.)  
>The fun thing about this super-fast paced song is they used to get drunk as nuts and then sing it. It's quite a tongue twister.<p>

_Parting Glass_ is another traditional Irish song. It's slower and more melancholy but still beautiful. Parting glass is traditionally sung at the end of the evening and refers to the old tradition of a stirrup cup, a cup (traditionally silver or ornately carved) the company pass around and everyone takes a sip from.

_Parting glass_ was featured in the Season 4 episode Fugue. Sung by Ryan Robins (Henry Foss.)


	19. April 11,1912 7:20 pm

**April 11,1912 7:20 pm**

* * *

><p>Helen pulled her shoes off and crossed the open deck slowly. She breathed in log deep pulls of salt tinged fresh air. Each breath felt like new life pulsing throughout her body. She smiled sernely and watched the sunset tinged the clouds pink and stain the sky and soft waves red. She watched as Twilight set in spreading a purple cloak over the world. Stars winked in a friendly manner as they appeared one by one. Helen closed her eyes and let it sink in.<p>

"... All well and good. But The Titanic is more than just a 'Big Ship.' She's fast as well. We want people to talk about the Titanic 100 years from now."

Helen turned, recognizing the voice of Bruce Ismay.

"I've told you before." Captain Smith's voice cut through the darkness with frayed patience. "We are traveling at an excellent pace. Any faster at this time of year would be reckless. The poles are thawing, icebergs are migrating south."

"But that's normal for this time of year." Ismay scoffed. "The maritime console wouldn't let us sail if it wasn't safe."

"You've had my answer Mr. Ismay." Captain Smith turned to walk away. Ismay grabbed his jacket.

"Would you have your last voyage be mediocre when it could be grand? My backers are pushing us to go faster. We need to amaze the world. As the Chairman of White star-"

"As the Chairman of white star you asked for a captain that would guide this ship safely to land. "Captain Smith said in a voice of Cold authority. "On land you are no doubt in charge. However we are out at sea. And out here, I'm in charge and you're a passenger."

Ismay swallowed nervously and let go.

"We are progressing at an adequate speed." Smith repeated. "In a few days' time, if I deem her ready, titanic shall speed up." the captain turned and walked away without looking back.

Helen turned and walked thoughtfully back to her cabin. It had been a very eventful day and she was weary from it all. She changed into her nightdress and wondered for the first time in many years just what tomorrow might hold.


	20. Friday April 12,1912 10:28 am

Helen wasn't sure if there was truth in the old adage that being at sea gave one an appetite or if it was worked up from all the excitement from last night.. At all events she found herself interested in a real breakfast, rather than tea and half a crumpet. all the same she lingered over her meal, eating slowly.

Nestled in with a purple dress , Helen had found a notebook belonging to Nikola. He had used it as a journal until he left for Budapest. She had just come across his first impressions of the other members of the Five and found it greatly insightful.

_Oct. 8 1885  
>I spent the entire night with Helen again, nothing new though for me. She is absolutely perfect, not a single flaw except that she is into John and not me. Anyway we spent the entire night just looking at the stars together as we used to before ... Trying not to write about him. What can I say about Helen? I've already said she's perfect in everyway although when it comes to her, no harm in saying it over and over again. I wish she knew how much I really love her, but I can't bring myself to tell her ... Some coward huh? Oh well I can wait a million years as long as I get to talk to her.<em>

_May 1 1886_  
><em>I played the best prank on Nigel, teach him to mess with me again. It was hilarious. I wish I could have seen the look on his face when he seen all the pigeons in his room. He seems to be ok, we are always playing tricks on each other though, our way of having fun. Mr. Magnus isn't so happy about it, but hey it's fun any how. I can't wait to see what Nigel gets me back with though, assuming he can even top it. All of the fun of the pranks we come up with, he's come up with a few good ones to, but mine are always the best.<em>

_Sept. 22 1888_  
><em>How could James ever believe that I would. How could he accuse ME of all people of being Jack the Ripper?! Betrayed by someone I thought was my friend. Some self conscious bastard he turned out to be. My heart belongs to one person only, there's no way in hell I'd ever harm someone like that no matter how beautiful they were. He's lucky I love Helen and that I promised her I wouldn't feed on humans ... Wait I can't think of him that way, he's her friend to but I still wish I could at least show him what I am really capable of.<em>

_December 4th 1899_  
><em>It's so hard fighting for Helen's affection when the bastard John has her father wrapped around his finger. What does the long haired pitiful excuse for a gentleman, not to mention a man for that matter got that I don't besides Gregory's approval? Oh they get on my nerves! Wait and see I'll win Helen over some day and she'll be all mine, see what Johnny says then.<em>

She looked up as a loud laugh reached her ears and smiled at the woman striding in her direction. "Good morning Mrs Brown." Helen waved. Maggie smiled and bustled over.

"None of that Mrs Brown stuff, if you please. I much prefer Maggie." She smiled her energetic smile and too the seat Helen offered her. "third time we've seen each other, Ain't it? I'd say were fast becoming friends, Doc."

"Call me Helen." She smiled Other than The Five, Helen kept mostly to herself. Especially among socialites. too many secrets could get out if she were careless. Her age and how she became Immortal, Nikola's vampire heritage, the secret to James success. Jack the ripper still alive and on the loose.

Helen certainly never had any female friends. Most women of the time were uncomfortable around a woman who was a doctor. Especially women her own age, though she suspected Maggie to be a decade or two younger. Helen felt more at ease with her.

"Say, what are your plans for dinner? I got a few friends would love to meet you."

"Tonight? I'm completely free." Helen smiled, feeling more at ease with the world than she had in many years. Maggie smiled back.

"Excellent. Ill meet you in the dining hall at five o'clock?"

Helen nodded and finished the last of her tea. "Ill see you then." She stood as Maggie excused herself and was called away. Helen stretched and headed to her cabin to change. When was the last time she had been swimming? Twenty years? Thirty? Nikola once convinced her to swim with him. She blushed at the memory. Men and women didn't swim together. It was simply not done. But Nikola, with his uncanny with and charm talked her into swimming with him.

In the Thames no less. It would never do for John to find out. She had floated lazily in the shallows, counting as Nikola swam lap after lap. James of course got it out of her within 5 minutes of their return to the Sanctuary.

Helen changed into her swim clothes. A little more revealing than she preferred, with the bottom coming down only as far as mid thigh. The sleeves stopped before the elbow and there was barely any skirt to speak of. She blushed at her reflection and pulled on a light dress to keep herself decent and headed to deck F and the swimming pool. She remembered an article in the paper about this pool.

_...where the ceaseless ripple of the tepid sea water was almost the only indication that somewhere in the distance 72,000 horses in the guise of steam engines fretted and strained under the skilful guidance of the engineers_

Most of the other women were catching up on gossip or sleep so the pool was empty. Helen cast her off white sundress to a deck chair and stepped lightly into the warm salt water. She pushed off, letting her momentum carry her to the middle of the pool where she floated lazily. After checking again that she was alone, she pulled off her swim cap and let her long curling hair fan out through the water. She took a long breath and closed her eyes.

_"Come on Helen. We swam together before."_ Helen's eyes snapped open as Nikola s voice echoed in her head. She looked around again to find no one there and sighed, closing her eyes as the memory bubbled up.  
><em><br>"It wouldn't be that much different. Not really. And you would be underwater."_

_"The answer is no Nikola!" Helen had said with a laugh. He pouted and Helen took advantage of his silence "It wouldn't be proper! And the water would be_

_**freezing!** "_

_Nikola smirked playfully. "That's what I'm counting on"_

_"Nikola!" Helen gasped in horror. Of course the entire proposal was scandalous. He smiled and lay his head on her shoulder with woeful puppy dog eyes._

_"Ve do eet all zee time in old country" he said in as thick an accent as he could dredge up. Helen laughed._

_"I don't believe you! " She exclaimed "Nowhere do men and women swim together without clothes on. Especially here in England!"_

_"And women don't go to Oxford." Nikola shot back. Helen knew she had back herself in a corner immediately._

_"Come on Helen. I thought you were a pioneer."_

Helen smiled at the memory and flipped herself over, swimming to the far side of the pool with strong even strokes. She wondered vaguely what would have happened had John not walked in when he did. She never told Nikola she was seriously considering his proposal to go skinny dipping.

Helen pulled her swim cap back on as foot steps approached.

John had been adventurous, in his way. But he also adhered to tradition. It was what had drawn her to him. John was suave,handsome smart and a true gentleman.

Perhaps not as adventurous as Helen herself, but he appreciated her spirit. Admired her for it even. And her cause. Something it was very difficult to get people to understand.

John brought her roses everyday the first month of their courtship. He wrote her love letters and poetry. he had been her advocate in class when the other men looked down on the "Oxford woman"

Helen sighed and climbed out of the water Why did he have to be so easy to fall for? how had she been so easily charmed? How did she miss the blinding rage? Helen had always been so sure of her instincts before. She suddenly found herself second guessing her every decision since that fateful day she learned the truth behind the brutal killings in White chapel.

After slipping her dress back on, Helen headed back to her cabin to dry her hair and change. She had plans to meet with the Doctor after lunch. Best way to put John and her past out of her mind was to push herself back into her work.

* * *

><p>Massive Spazz and belated thanks with my sincerest apologies and thanks to Lokison (AKA Glitch) who helped write this entire fic also helped me out by writing the journal entries in this chapter even though it wasn't his turn he was a great sport. Sorry this is so late Glitch.<p>

Slainte,

hobbit


	21. April 12, 1912 1:10 pm

**April 12, 1912 1:10 pm**

* * *

><p>Dr. O'Loughlin laughed as another woman passed and waved to Helen. "You seem to have made quite a few friends, Dr. Magnus."<br>Helen blushed.

"I've met a lot of people on board the Titanic since we left England."

Dr. O'Loughlin led the way to a second class cabin and knocked softly at the door. After a soft scuffling noise from within, the door was opened by a bright eyed three year old girl. Immediately following was a tall black man with an open and friendly face.

"Simonne, you must be more careful." He chided gently. "Do not open the door until you know who it is. Can I help you?" He asked, looking up at Helen and Dr. O'Loughlin.

"So sorry to disturb you, Mr. Laroche." Dr. O'Loughlin said with a small bow. "Perhaps you remember me? I'm the ship's doctor. You asked me to look in on your wife. Juliette. As you requested."

Mr. Laroche smiled at Dr. O'Loughlin and Helen before opening the door wider. "Yes. Of course. Do come in."

"This is a colleague of mine, helping me out today. Dr. Helen Magnus. She studied in England. "

Helen nodded briskly. "Yes Oxford. One of the first women." Mr. Laroche kissed her hand reverently and led the way into the small cabin.

"Very pleased to have you. My wife, I know will be more comfortable with another woman."

Helen smiled at the expectant mother and knelt beside her. "What brings you to the titanic?" she examined her carefully.

"My husband is from Hate. My little girls are shunned and treated badly for their dark skin in our native France." Juliette replied with a slight distaste in her voice. "Even here on the titanic, we are talked down to. When we get to Haiti, my husband will get a good job and we will live in peace. My Son will not know scorn for the color of his skin." She sighed and lay back. "We were to take the Franc. A very prestigious ship, as I understand. But they would not permit the children to sit with us at table."

"Have you thought of a name for your little boy?" Helen asked as Dr. O'Loughlin asked Mr. Laroche a number of questions about his wife's pregnancy.

"He will be named for his father. Joseph Philippe Lemercier Laroche" Julliette smiled and looked over to her husband with adoring eyes.

Helen smiled and finished the examination. "Clean bill of health. You and the baby are both fine." Helen smiled as she stood up.

Joseph smiled and shook hands with Helen and Dr. O'loughlin. "Thank you both. Thank you so very much." He bowed and showed the pair out.

The second-class deck was crowded and Helen had to maneuver carefully to keep from bumping into anyone.

"... A pipe dream. Just a pipe dream, Will "One man was saying avidly to his friend. "A fad for rich people. Steel is where the money is. Security. Why, just look at Belfast... Oh sorry." With a fancy wave of his hand, Helens bag was jostled from her hands. It fell to the floor and spilled supplies all over. Both men bent to help her gather it all up.

"I won't argue steelwork is good. And plentiful" Will said to his companion. "But electricity! That's the future Archie."

Archie shook his head. "You're a good lad, William Parr. But trust me when I say, its steel work you be wanting. You can work up an empire. Why the titanic alone revived Belfast's steel production a hundred fold. And we still have the Olympic! "

"Yes true. But with electricity, we could be on the ground floor. It's"

"It's not for the likes of me." Archie laughed. "Put it out of your head, Will."

Will handed the bag back to Helen with a slight bow. "Do pardon us, Ma'am. Mr. Parr is a clumsy fool. It's a good thing he ain't what put the rivulets in. "He said poking his friend in the ribs.

"Quite alright. Thank you." Helen smiled politely and watched the pair move away, still arguing. She turned to Dr. O'loughlin. "I thought the Titanic was from Liverpool?"

Dr. O'loughlin shook his head. "Not she. The White Star Line was founded by Thomas Ismay in Liverpool. The Head Office is in England.

Many of the Titanic's crew is from Liverpool. The crew even call the service corridor on E deck was "Scotland Rd", a main Liverpool thoroughfare. But the ship herself is Irish. Built from the Hull up in Belfast. Harland and Warf took the project from start to finish. Titanic and her sister ship, _RMS Olympic_. "

"I never knew that. Fascinating." Helen smiled and followed the Doctor to the next appointment, a woman in third class.

"I think it's my lungs. Stupid really" She sighed as the doctor inspected her. She gave Helen a light smile. "Mother warned me about too many baths. I had one yesterday and took one today. Oh I'm never doing that again..."

Dr. O'loughlin swallowed back a laugh. "It's just stomach cramps. You had too much to eat too fast. Drink a teaspoon of this every 2 hours and give your stomach time to settle." He smiled and handed her some cod oil, then bowed back out.

"A lot of people in third class didn't have access to daily meals." He sighed as they left. "They left behind everything they knew to escape poverty and oppression."

"The promise of a better life in America beckons." Helen nodded.  
>"I can see why." Not just humans, but abnormals too. She wondered about the immigrating abnormals, creatures displaced from other countries. And the ones in America already.<p>

Like so many other, Abnormals heard the call of opportunity and freedom in New York and the promise of gold in California. Would they find welcome? Or would they live on the margins there just as they had in their homeland? Where would they go? London's Sanctuary was out of the question.

It hit her suddenly. One sanctuary was not enough. One location. She would need more. A network. Sanctuaries all over the world. One on each continent. All she needed was time, money. Time she had plenty of. Helen smiled to herself. It was small really, just the glimmer of an idea. But it gave her what she really needed. _Purpose._

* * *

><p><strong>Hobbits notes<strong>  
>the two men arguing over electricity vs. steelwork were both part of the guarantee group, a selection of handpicked men chosen by Thomas Andrews to make sure everything on the titanic ran smoothly.<br>William Parr was an electrician, Anthony 'Archie' Frost a Fitter

Joseph Philippe Lemercier Laroche was the only black man known to sail on the Titanic. He faced a lot of racism and derogatory remarks from crew and passengers alike


	22. April 12, 1912 5:02 pm

April 12, 1912 5:02 pm

* * *

><p>Helen alighted down the stairs with a graceful hesitant air. Her long gown fluttered lightly with each step. "Not bad for a mailing ship, eh?" Maggie smiled and patted her on the back.<p>

"Mail ship?" Helen repeated

"The R.M.S. Titanic is a Royal Mail Ship, officially responsible for delivering mail! We have a Sea Post Office with five mail clerks. I nipped in and had a conversation with them. They have 3,423 sacks of mail! Can you imagine?" Maggie laughed.

"Good to see you again. Come on, meet the others." She flashed her infectious smile and lead Helen to a small group gathered near the bottom of the stairs, by an ornately carved gold cherub. Maggie tapped a young man on the shoulder. "This in John Thayer. The third." The man turned around and Helen recognized him as the one that asked Ismay about the fake funnel

"Call me Jack, please. Everyone does. This is Milton Long. We boarded together and have been friends since." Helen smiled and shook their hands. Maggie turned her attention to an older gentleman and a very young woman. "Late again JJ? No matter. John Astor. I want you to meet Dr. Magnus."

"Dr. Helen Magnus?" Astor asked in surprise.

"You've heard of me?" Helen asked. She didn't think she had much of a reputation outside of the abnormal groups.

"A friend of mine in New York. He's mentioned you a few times."

"If you're referring to Tesla, Darling" The woman with him giggled. "He doesn't _stop_talking about you."

"You know Nikola?" Helen repeated. It wasn't like him to consort with 'ordinary humans' since he discovered his vampire heritage.

"...The man is a genius." Astor was saying. Helen blinked and realized she hadn't been listening. "Invents all kinds of marvelous electronics."

"An inventor? Well hell that's somethin aint it?" Maggie smiled. "They make all kinds of incredible gadgets."

"Tell us, where did you meet Professor Tesla?" Astor's accompaniment asked with interest.

"He was in oxford. We went to school together." Helen replied as Astor's eyes lit up with curiously.

"Really? What was he like?" Astor asked with the hint of a smile.

Helen curled her lip remembering all the promises he broke. Leaving her behind for Budapest. Going to New York and leaving her to rot in England. The plans, promises and secrets they had shared. And then to have him cut her from his life. Not writing to her, not even to tell her he was imprisoned.

"He was an arrogant, selfish, smarmy bastard." She said coldly.

Astor and his companion laughed merrily. "He hasn't changed a bit then. Did he have the same fascination with pigeons?"

Helen felt her lips turn up in a smile in spite of herself. Many an afternoon was spent in the park. Nigel and James cataloging flowers for chemistry, John reading Helen poetry and sonnets wile Nikola chased tirelessly after pigeons. He believed some might know the whereabouts of Bhalasaam, the secret vampire city.

"And wine." Helen nodded. "He liked the highlife. I hear it got him in trouble."

Astor nodded sympathetically. "Yes I heard of that. Debtors' prison. I offered the money. He would be far more useful to the world finishing his work rather than sitting in a tiny prison cell. But he declined. Said he was responsible for getting himself locked up, he insisted on getting himself back out. Besides, he hates owing people."

Helen smiled more warmly Nikola really hadn't changed.

A week after being recruited into the Five, Nigel had been working on an experiment with a new method of bonding carbon to other elements. For whatever reason he had enlisted Nikola to assist him. Exactly what happened to cause the resulting explosion, Helen never learned. But upon her careful questioning, Nikola admitted he confessed his to the Dean on the same day what his involvement had been. (She didn't learn until much later he had been able to keep Nigel's name out of it.)

"So. Are we going to stand here gabbing all night? Let's get a table." Maggie's voice cut through Helens musings. She smiled at the rustic socialite and nodded in agreement.

"Madeline my dear?" Astor smiled to his companion and took her arm in his. She smiled at him adoringly. Helen smiled, recognizing a woman in love. Maggie led them to a table where three men stood up. Helen recognized Ismay and Andrews.

"Mrs. Brown, Mr. and Mrs. Astor. It's good to see you again." Ismay smiled and shook hands. "Hello- Dr. Magnus." he added carefully to Helen. She saw Andrews trying not to smile.

"Permit me to introduce Mr. William Campbell, another member of my guarantee group. He's with me to make any improvements on the ship when we dock. "

Campbell smiled and shook hands as Thayer and Long were introduced as well.

"So Ismay? You're the man who made the ship?" Thayer smiled and shook his hand.

"Oh hardly. That was Mr. Andrews here. History will remember him as the man responsible for all this. He's the one who made all this happen."

"Oh not just me. I had my entire team to help me. And Alexander Carlisle. . He was at one time head of the drawing office and had been involved with the design of Titanic. And Lord Pirrie"

"I heard something about that. Was it about lifeboats?" Milton asked.

Titanic carries 20 lifeboats, enough for 1178 people. The Board of Trade requires a passenger ship to provide lifeboat capacity  
>for 1060 people. Titanic was designed to carry 32 lifeboats but this number was reduced to 20 because it was felt that the deck would be too cluttered. We still have 20 life boats. That's four more than the board requires for a ship our size."<p>

"But that would only be room for 0ne thousand one hundred seventy eight people!" Helen exclaimed. "There are two thousand two hundred on board!"

"Titanic also carries 3500 lifebelts and 48 life rings and with the compartments and double hull, the ship is built to stay afloat. She can't sink." Ismay insisted. "Really Miss Magnus. Women worry themselves into a fret over nothing."

Maggie brandished her salad fork at him threateningly. "Watch it buster. That was almost an insult."

The table erupted into nervous laughter. Madeline turned innocently to her husband. "John. Why don't you tell Dr. Magnus how you know her friend Mr. Tesla? It's a_ very_fascinating story."

"Arrogant little sneak." Astor exclaimed "he took my money and ran off to Colorado." He laughed. "We met in the world's fair. The Chicago World's Fair of 1893 He could light the entire city with his alternating current. I sent him a book I had written he sent a letter back telling me he would always keep it. As an interesting and pleasant memento of our  
>acquaintance"<p>

Helen laughed. Nikola was secretly obsessed with the idea of aliens. It was part of why the sourceblood appealed to him.

"And now he's back in New York. Maddie my darling I think we should pop in and say Hello." John smiled.

Helen looked up in surprise. "I thought he was in debtors' prison?" She asked.

Astor shook his head. "Out on probation. Seems he came up with a lot of what runs on the Titanic. He'll collect the money and pay his debts off once we dock in New York." He explained. "In the meantime, he's on probation. He can go to work and he can stay home with his pigeons."

Ismay nodded. "Yes well that isn't so bad. I understand he was a complete shut in before he was thrown in jail."

"When it suits him." Helen returned. "Other times he takes off halfway around the world without any warning."

Astor nodded. "I think it's the freedom of having the choice."

"I would go positively mad!" Madeline exclaimed dramatically. "I love to travel and I love seeing the world. We were in Cairo last week. But we decided to cut our trip short." she smiled secretively up at her husband who moved a glass of wine away from his wife.

"We thought it best to head home. For medical reasons." Astor agreed.

"JJ you rascal!" Maggie gave a crowing laugh. "Congrats! You're having a baby."

Madeline blushed but she smiled pleasurably.

"I think a toast is in order then." Thayer smiled and raised a glass. "To the richest man on the ship, the expectant father. And to the blessed woman, mother to be."

Maggi raised her glass with the others. "To the growing Family."

"To the growing family" Helen echoed with the others. She smiled remembering a similar toast held in her honor. How John smiled almost boastfully. The way his eyes sought even the smallest hint of the baby growing in her. Nikola spent a month insisting Helen be carried everywhere she needed to go.

The others (to her embarrassment) had agreed wholeheartedly and passed her around the room. James read book after book after book about name entomology. Nigel plied her with vegetables and fruit that had the best vitamins for expectant mothers.

Madeline rested her head on her husbands' arm Helen felt a small stir of jealousy but quelled it and finished her Waldorf Pudding. The men stood up and said goodnight as they retired to the smoking room.

Madeline stood and stretched. "I had a lovely time, but I think I'll head up to bed. I quite agree. It's late. I should rest as well. "

Helen stood as well. "Let me escort you to your room. As a doctor."

Maggie smiled and took Madeline's elbow. "No is not an option I'm afraid dear." she said, guiding the much younger woman to the door. "What a trip eh Doc? I tell ya, this lap of luxury thing sure is the life." Maggie smiled. "My husband would have loved this."

"How did you meet Mr. Brown?" Madeline asked politely.

"I moved to a small mining town called Leadville when I was about 19.I met J.J. Brown, a mining engineer with plenty of grit and no fortune. We spent the summer together and then we were married on September 1, 1886. We moved up to Stumpftown, closer to where J.J. was working. Leadville miners and their families often lived near the mines, particularly in the winter months when the journey to town could be cold and treacherous." Maggie chuckled to herself.  
>In 1893 when everything came tumbling down in the Silver Crash. Then my J.J., working as a mine superintendent, discovered gold in the Little Johnny Mine. The owners of the Little Johnny rewarded us with significant shares in their company, the Ibex Mining Company, and we became millionaires. We found ourselves on separate sides and split up a couple years ago. Make better friends I reckon."<p>

"And what about you?" Madeline asked Helen. "Were you ever married."?

"No. I was engaged but we called it off." Helen said elusively. "It didn't work out."

"Good riddance. Madeline here got the last good man." Maggie nodded.

"Well I wouldn't say the _Last_good man." Madeline said with a soft glint in her eyes. "Isn't Mr. Tesla single?"

Helen caught the implication and shook her head. "Not in one hundred years. Good night ladies."

She peeled off and turned into her own cabin. Maggie and Madeline giggled scandalously behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>Hobbits notes<strong>

The real Nikola Tesla was actually very good friends with Astor.


	23. April 12 1912 7:28 pm

**April 12 1912 7:28 pm**

* * *

><p>Helen sank back into the steaming porcelain tub and sighed. Perhaps she would go see Nikola just to get him to rig up hot water in her sanctuary. She never realized how much work went into a bath until she turned the tap and automatically had a hot bath. Of all the advancements she had seen in her life, this was hands down her favorite.<p>

Forget the pyramids, forget the great wall. Hot tap water was the wonder of the world. Helen pushed herself further into the water and let her toes stick out.

Bliss

_"... and a big house." _John's voice echoed in her head something about his smooth voice and slow cadence made his plans sound like her dreams all on the verge of coming true.

Not that she didn't want a family with him. She had loved Druitt and wanted to marry him. But she didn't want to 'settle down'

Helen was a pioneer. An adventurer. An explorer. She had lost something of that somehow. Had pushed it aside to be the good wife For John. "Dr. Montague John Druitt. They would marry and travel the world. Have a family. Construct a sanctuary in the middle of London.

There were Days Helen was so happy she could burst.

It was the small things she missed. Waking up every day with a rose on her pillow. The way John held her hands, like they were made of Glass. His strong arms around her waist. It tore her apart every day without him.

Helen sat in the tub long after the heat left the bath; she sat in the cold water.

And cried.


	24. Saturday April 13 1912 9:22 am

**April 13 1912 9:22 am**

* * *

><p>The weather seemed to mirror Helens mood as she woke the next morning to cooler temperatures. She ate her breakfast mechanically under the clear blue sky. Helen finished the last of her Corn Bread and Black Currant Conserve. Then she began roaming about aimlessly across the deck her mind was a thousand miles away and forty years in the past.<p>

_Helen? Might I have a word with you? John had pulled her aside one day just after class. The class he was failing because he spent all his time staring at her._

Tall charming handsome John Druitt pulled her aside one fine spring day. He said her name in his soft smooth velvet voice. Just hearing his voice was decadent.

"Helen?" He had said her name with reverence, lie it was the most perfect word "helen, might I have a word?" He asked it as though he were tasting each word, and everyone was better than the last.

He took her hands in his. Held her hands carefully. Like they were the glass slippers that had carried Cinderella to the ball. The slippers on Cinderella's feet that lead her to the prince who promptly swept her off her feet.

"Helen, you are the most incredible woman I ever met. You are strong independent, beautiful and absolutely brilliant." John smiled up at her as a man in a dream a wonderful dream. One he hoped to never waken from. "You are the most amazing woman I will ever meet. I know I will never see another woman like you. The room lights up the moment you walk in and having you in my life has made me a better man. Knowing this better life, I can't go back Helen."

John smiled and dropped to his knees. Helens heart stopped. 'So thisis what it's like' Helen thought wildly 'to be the princess in a fairytale'

"Might I have leave, Miss Magnus, Doctor to be to court you? "

He looked so soft and vulnerable with just a hint of steel in his eyes. A small hint.

Helen wondered later if it was a glimpse of the towering rage he was capable of. If she had refused him then, said no, would she have been his first victim? Torn open lie a ragdoll? Would he have succumbed to his anger had she not succumbed to his charm? She didn't know.

And it haunted her.

I was easier to blame John. To say the rage was always there. Like the fateful tale of Bluebeard. Always there waiting just below the surface. A hungry alligator in a calm lake waiting waiting waiting... Like the dormant vampire genes swimming through Nikola s blood. That small ancient genetic code ready to bubble up and overcome the human DNA with the slight introduction of her vampire serum.

Easy too to blame the source blood. Teleportation.  
>How steady could one be if at every moment ones Atoms were ready to blow apart? So easy to say it was the source blood. The blood John took willingly. The blood Nigel injected. The blood James convinced his best friend to try. Even blaming James and Nigel was easier. Or Nikola. Arrogant little Serbian boy who sparred constantly with the others.<p>

Easier to blame Johns rage on the over confidant young Serbian who didn't know the limit. Who pushed them all to their boundaries and pushed John over the edge into murderous madness.

All of that was easier than facing the truth.  
>But Helen knew<p>

It was her fault.

All her fault.

* * *

><p><strong> Notes<strong>. .

**Cinderella** and **Blue Beard** are both French stories by the Charles Perrault. Considered the _Father of the Fairytale Genre_

to be technical Cinderella with the fairy godmother and the glass slippers that everyone is familiar with is by Charles Perrault.

It's the story of a young woman who is vastly underestimated by those around her. She is given glass slippers that are molded to fit only her feet and makes the prince fall in love with her. Before she can give her name and phone number, she had to run home and loses one of her shoes.

Lacking a finger print kit, (and proper protocols to prevent athletes foot) the prince goes from house to house trying the shoe on every woman in town. He finally comes to Cinderella s house and the shoe fits.

Some scholars believe the shoes were actually meant to be Fur. Feet were considered the most erotic part of a woman (which kind of makes the prince a pervert looking at the feet of everywoman in the kingdom ^..^)

Bluebeard is a seemingly charming man who is considered kind of eccentric and a loner. He charms a local woman into marrying him and leaves her home alone oneday with a small key and warnings not to open the door it unlocks (So why give her the key right?) the wife disobeys and opens the door anyway. She finds out her husband is an insane serial killer who likes to slice up women. She gets blood on the key and he confronts her, ready to kill her as well when her brothers swoop in and save her.

(In Sanctuary verse this could be Nikola Nigel and Watson; although John only metaphorically kills l Helen)


	25. April 13, 1912 12:17 pm

**April 13, 1912 12:17 pm**

* * *

><p>"How did you get yourself all the way over here?" A vaguely familiar voice recalled Helen to her surroundings. She looked around uncertainly. Where was here? She seemed to have found a whole new section of the ship.<p>

"I seem to be lost." Helen murmured in numb surprise and turned to the speaker. Charles Joughin was holding a fresh tray of rolls and smiling brightly.

"You're not supposed to be down here in the crew section." Joughin set down his tray and extended his hand. Helen smiled up at the wendigo and accepted his escort.

"Tell me, what news from the land of sky and sun?" He joked.

Helen smiled "Oh not much to tell. It's getting colder now. As of this morning People bundling up, less walks on the open deck. But the talk is the same. Big names on the ship, big names in France and New York what they do and what they've done. What they plan. People talk so little of themselves, conversation becomes tedious. "Helen sighed. "I've kept mostly to myself, as a result. I've found more to do than I expected, but I spend most of my time in the library. "

Joughin gave a soft roar Helen assumed was a laugh. "I hear it's a fine library."

Helen nodded in agreement. "But tell me of your adventures here. You must have something to tell of life here."

"In the bowels of the ship?" The Wendigo laughed. "Not much really. We do our work live our lives return to our cabins and do it all again on the morrow. Met a few right good chaps. Maynard is a cheery lad. Very little excitement." Joughin licked his lips softly and pulled Helen closer lowering his voice. "There is one thing though. I don't wanna worry anyone and I don't wanna be labeled crazy. But a few of the others mentioned hearing a knocking noise. There were rumors of men getting trapped in the hull. But that's just sailor's talk." He shook his head. "I didn't think much of it. Maybe the cold water on the hot metal by the boilers. Or the black gang going about their daily lives."

"The Black gang?" Helen asked in confusion.

"They keep the ship moving. 324 men shoveling 650 tons of coal a day to keep this ship moving. They live in the lower part of the ship their own little world. Never seeing daylight. And spending most of their time in the dark hot boiler rooms." The baker clarified.

"Dear God." Helen gasped.

Joughin pulled Helen closer. "Thing is, I heard it too. The knocking sound. And I remembered an old poem Ma told me when I was a boy. _Late last night and the night before_"

"Tommy knockers." Helen said, recalling the legends of small gnomes who lived in mines and made loud clanging noises just before cave-ins.

"Can't say for sure. But I'm not one to rule it out. I knew you would believe me. Most people would laugh it off" The Wendigo nodded. "But people like us know what's out there."

"When did you last hear the knocking?" Helen asked. The baker frowned in thought. "Two nights ago. I wish I could warn the others. But keep your wits about you love; I'll keep my eyes peeled." He dropped Helen off at the door to the passenger area and swept off back down to the kitchen at superhuman speed.

Helen considered the information carefully. On one hand there was a possible omen of misfortune. Something had or could go wrong. But of what nature, if anything? It was a large ship and any number of things, big or small could be sensed by Tommy knockers.

If it even wasTommy knockers. There were a multitude of other more 'logical' explanations. She would be jumping at shadows soon.

"Problem Love?" Asked a voice nearby, almost making Helen jump. She looked around to see a group of me holding instruments. She took anoter glance around the halll to find she had been dropped off in the first class dining hall.

"No. Im fine. Thank you. Just a little preoccupied." Helen smiled "I didn't mean to disturb you. Forgive me."

"Oh a lovely distraction like you is welcome any time." The cellist said with a broad wink. "You just surprised us. Most of the first-class ladies are already picking out their dresses for the dance."

"The dance?" Helen repeated uncertainly. "Is it in your honor?"

The men laughed gently. "No we're just the musicians. Hartley, Wallace Hartley Bandmaster this here is John Clarke our Bassist and that chap is Roger Bricoux, Cellist "

"Yes. I saw you here at supper the other night. "Helen smiled.

Bricoux beamed. "That was us. The other band plays in the cafe. I'm hoping one day we can all play together on this voyage."

"That would be wonderful. I'd love to hear it." Helen smiled "But I think I should get going. Let you get back to rehearsal. I suppose I'll see you at the dance tonight."

For all his charms and grandeur, John had never been one for dance. There were times she missed it, but mostly she never thought about it. He loved to take her to balls. Dinner parties. Any number of society gatherings. And he was romantic. Roses for no reason. Jewelry just because. That demure smile when he kissed her hand.

"Well play something in your honor then love." Bricoux said with another wink.

Helen smiled and headed out to the main deck she caught sight of the gym and smiled. She hadn't been cycling in some time. She liked the feeling of pedaling her legs. The swift powerful strokes. Setting a rhythm. She was tired of thinking. John Nikola Tommy knockers. Her long drawn out past her longer future, looming ahead and in great uncertainty.


	26. April 13, 1912 3:29 pm

**April 13, 1912 3:29 pm**

* * *

><p>Helen stepped out from the gym and back on to the deck feeling refreshed and invigorated. She breathed in and let the cool air engulf her. It was nice to stop overthinking everything and let go.<p>

She turned suddenly at the sound of voices. A pair of men were walking toward her in Titanic livery. Each had a name on their hats, Fleet and Lee.

"...Wish we knew where the binoculars were, all the same." Lee said.

"Aye I asked Captain Smith about that," Fleet nodded. "He told me to ask Wilde."

"What did He say?" Moody asked

"He told me to ask Murdoch"

"What did He say?"

"He told me to ask Lightoller."

"What did He say?"

"He told me to ask Pitman"

"What did He say?"

"He told me to ask Boxhall "

"What did He say?"

He told me to ask Lowe

"What did He say?"

"He told me to ask Moody "

"What did He say?"

"He told me to ask Blair

"What did _He_say?"

"I dunno I couldn't find him. Don't think he's on the Ship." Fleet shrugged.

."Yeah that figures" Lee chuckled as the pair rounded a corner.

Helen shrugged and headed on her own way. She wandered aimlessly, making sure this time to stay in the passenger area and soon found herself on the bow. A pair of dolphins raced each other in front of the ship and jumped high into the air. She laughed at the playful creatures. She had read somewhere once dolphins were drawn to humans. They were reminded of the believed to be extinct mermaids. Helen wondered if it were true. But there was no way for her to ask the gamboling animals.

They disappeared below the waves and Helen grew aware of voices talking behind her.

"We have traveled over 519 miles already." Helen recognized Captain Smith's voice. "We will be on time. That is what matters."

"But there's no reason we couldn't be early!" Ismay obviously. He hadn't given up on his argument "Light the last of the boilers and make headlines. It's been clear skies and smooth sailing since we left "

"We have to protect ourselves from icebergs I told you..."

"We haven't gotten a single ice warning since we started this trip. And anyway, anything big enough to sink _Titanic_would have to be visible 5 miles off. Plenty of time for us to stop,"

The captain nodded slowly. "Something to think about indeed, Mr. Ismay. I will give it full consideration." His voice brooked no argument, but Ismays face was nothing if not determined.

Helen frowned thoughtfully at the battle of wills ebbing just below the surface, ready to pull the fate of the titanic. She sighed and shook the idea from her mind. There was nothing she could do now but wait and see where the tides of destiny landed her.


	27. April 13 1912 5:22 pm

**April 13 1912 5 22 pm**

* * *

><p>When Helen reached the first class dining hall, the dance was already in full swing. She stopped at the top of the grand staircase and took in the sight. The tables had been pushed to the edge of the hall to make room for dancing.<p>

Shining above, a guiding star crowning the grand spectacle, the chandelier.

Helen smoothed down her ocean blue form fitting dress and skipped lightly down the stairs. She saw the Banks dance by and then the Astor's. And a third couple who had undoubtedly married a long time, waltzed across the foyer.

"Beautiful ain't it?" Maggie brown sidled up beside Helen with a large grin. "Mrs. Straus finally talked old Mr. Straus into dancing with her."

"How lovely." Helen smiled and wondered in the back of her mind if she would still be with John after all this time. She shoved it out of her mind. She opened her mouth but before she could say anything, she felt a soft tug on her elbow length black glove.

"Pardon me, I come to borrow Ms. Malis." Cameron swept up and pulled Helen onto the dance floor.

"If you please, it's Dr. Magnus." Helen replied coldly. Cameron smiled belligerently as though humoring a small Child.

"Ms. Magnus then."

"And you didn't ask if I wanted to dance." Helen pressed. Cameron smiled descending again.

"I would hardly call this dancing. Are you wearing lead boots?" He laughed and nearly stepped on her toes for the third time. She winced softly and swept her trumpet skirt out of the way.

"Oh don't make that face sweetheart. You aren't as bad as That!"

"No, but you are." Helen tried to pull away and looked at the man in distaste.

"Now Heather. You don't need to be difficult." Cameron missed the steely look in Helens eyes.

"I haven't even touched on difficult. Be very careful of your next move." Helen growled.

Cameron opened his mouth angrily when another man tapped him on the shoulder. "Might I cut in?"

"Yes." Helen agreed immediately and allowed the newcomer to sweep her away.

"Forgive me if I seem audacious." Helens new partner whispered. You looked like you could use a hand. He had a slightly clipped accent.

"Quite alright. Thank you." Helen smiled "Do forgive my asking, bit your accent... Serbian?"

"Russian. Is it too thick?" Her dance partner frowned.

Helen shook her head "No, no. It's just; a very old friend of mine had a similar accent."

"And this dear friend of yours, he was Serbian?" The Russian smiled

"I never said he was a dear friend. Just an old friend." Helen clarified, though she knew the distinction would have amused Nikola. She was still somewhat inclined not to speak of him, or the Five. Particularly to people she just met. "I'm terribly sorry. I haven't introduced myself. Doctor Helen Magnus."

"Pleasure to meet you. I am Lord Kolya Ivanous KIR Gustavo Du Bunlt but everyone simply calls me Kolya." He smiled and kissed the thick Ice blue ribbon laced across the top of Helens gloves. She blushed but smiled as the pair danced in amiable silence.

Of the five, Nikola alone enjoyed dancing. He was never self-conscious about asking her to dance. It was 3 months before she consented... Finally she said yes and the delighted Dhampire whirled her across the dance floor with extravagant flourish. Helen was left breathless and beguiled, with only the vaguest impression of lights and blurring faces as Nikola spun faster and faster with inhuman strength and speed. Slightly dizzy and out of breath, Helen had to admit it was the most fun she had in a very long time.

With enough brandy, and just the right finesse, Helen could entice John to dance with her. While she felt at home in his arms, he lacked the enthusiasm.

"You dance wonderfully well, Doctor." Kolya smiled. Helen blinked up at him and smiled.

"You are too easily impressed." Helen replied modestly. Kolya smiled.

"Perhaps you have many impressive qualities. Perhaps you take the small ones for granted."

"Ah. A charmer." Helen laughed and toyed with her silver pendant. The sapphire caught the light and sparkled from the Celtic knot it was set in.

"A gentleman." Kolya kissed her hand again as the song ended. Helen smiled then frowned as an iron grip closed in over her arm.

"I can take it from here." Cameron said in a voice of cold steel.

The Russian smiled unfazed. "But you haven't asked the lady."

For a minute Helen had a flash of Nikola and John, back in oxford fighting for her attention. She wondered with vague amusement if these two could so easily put in their place.

"I think I'll sit the next dance out." Helen fanned herself carefully. "I'm quite out of breath."

"Allow me to fetch you a drink." Cameron smiled. Kolya bowed with a flourish. "And I shall find you a seat."

The men glared at each other a minute longer then set off in opposite directions. As soon as they were gone from sight, Helen bolted for the door. She had endured such masculine tug of war games for half a century. She wasn't going through it again.

Especially with a pair she couldn't just shoot.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes<strong> Kolya is the Russian equivalent of Nikola. Another made up character.

The chandelier is still hanging in the first class dining room, 100 years later and 1200 feet under the ocean. (amazing isn't it?)

Dhampire Is a half human/half vampire, for those who didn't know.


	28. Sunday April 14, 1912 10:16 am

**Sunday April 14, 1912 10:16 am**

* * *

><p>Helen had woken with an invitation to a late breakfast with Dr. O'Loughlin, which she gladly accepted. She sipped her tea and watched the clear sky slip passed the window. For practical reasons, they were indoors.<p>

"It's strange the way time moves. I suppose because we are traveling westward. We've traveled three days and 2 time zones. "

"Tell me, what plans do you have for your day off?" Helen smiled. Dr. O'Loughlin shrugged. "I believe there is a lifeboat drill that's mandatory for all. Then I thought I would walk about. Perhaps try my hand at photography. There is a fully stocked darkroom on board. I promised my wife many pictures. She's always wanted to see New York. They say the buildings touched the sky." He smiled. "What about you, Dr. Magnus? Any plans for you?"

"I haven't really been making any plans." Helen admitted. "I just let the day take me where it will." Helen sighed to herself as the sense of being lost once again swept over her. For all her distractions and grandeur, the Titanic didn't solve anything. It was an all too temporary solution to a much too permanent problem. Helen was lost and alone with no drive. No rudder. An increasing expanse of time and nothing to fill it. A never-ending life and no one to share it with. Helen gave a shiver that had nothing to do with the weather. Helen was cold from within.

"Dr. Magnus?" Dr. O'Loughlin touched her sleeve gently. She painted on a small self-conscious smile.

"Sorry my mind is elsewhere."

"Well I think if you want a nice place to unwind and let your mind flow free, I would recommend the Turkish bath." He smiled. "Most soothing I heard. *benefits of a steam bath*"

Helen smiled softly "Is that your professional opinion Doctor?"

"It is indeed. And I'll get the captain to order it if I need to." The doctor waved Captain Smith over.

"Good morning Doctor" The captain smiled. Helen stood politely.

"Quite well. And yourself?" The Doctor smiled. "Permit me to introduce Dr. Helen Magnus, a passenger who has been a huge help to me. This is Captain Edward John Smith, RD, RNR an English naval reserve officer, and ship's captain. The officer in command of the RMS Titanic. "

"Ah yes. I heard the name mentioned a few times. Your reputation precedes you. I understand proper thanks are in order." Captain Smith kissed her hand lightly.

"You don't have to go through any trouble on my behalf." Helen blushed.

"Oh nonsense my dear! It's more trouble to owe you a debt of gratitude and letting you leave this ship without repaying it. Will you join us for lunch? Just a small group. Some of the men who made this ship possible and keep it running."

"I would be honored." Helen smiled sincerely.

"Excellent. 1:30 this afternoon. First class dining hall. Dr. O'Loughlin, Your welcome to join us." the captain broke off as a young man walked toward him. He had a fresh scrubbed look to him. As though he recently cleaned an excess of dirt from his skin.

"Captain. Might I have a quick word?" He asked, with a polite nod to Dr. O'Loughlin and Helen.

"Mr. Barret. Of course." The captain smiled.

Helen waved the new arrival to an empty seat and poured tea for the captain.

"Sir you said you would like an update. There's been no problems with the starboard bunker in the aft corner of Boiler Room No. 6. All systems are go."

"Ah excellent." The captain smiled and buttered a scone Dr. O'Loughlin passed him. "Mr. Ismay will be very pleased to hear that. Would you mind if I had a spot of tea?"

"Not at all. And you as well Mr. Barret. Have a seat." Helen smiled.

"This is Fred Barret. Head Fireman. He has 324 men working under him. Coal shovelers." The captain said in way of introduction. "This lovely young lady is Dr. Helen Magnus."

Helen caught the slight flicker in Barrets eyes and sighed. "I know what you're thinking. And yes. Women can be doctors."

"Tell me your report." the Captain smiled to the bewildered Barret. "Are we all set to go full speed?"

Barret nodded. "Just give the word. Whenever you're ready sir. And Sir, I know we are 40ft under the surface, but the noise is back. And well a lot of the men are nervous."

"Nonsense. Mr. Andrews has gone over every inch of this ship, in and out. Solid as a rock."

"Well some of the more... superstitious men think it could be something more sinister."

"Lands men's stories that's all. Idle chat to amuse the learned old sailors and scare the younger." Captain Smith took one last scone and stood. "Terribly sorry to gatecrash and run, but we have lifeboat drills after church services so I had best be ready."


	29. April 14 1912 1:37 pm

**April 14 1912 1:37 pm**

* * *

><p>"Dr. Magnus! Good of you to come." Captain Smith beamed at her approach. Helens smile grew strained as she recognized the thin, proud, arrogant profile sitting across from Captain Smith. Ismay wore a smile that seemed just as wary. But the others, Andrews and Lightoller and someone Helen had never met smiled brightly at her. "This is Alfred Cunningham He's an apprentice fitter and one of our guarantee group. You've met Mr. Andrews and Ismay I understand?"<p>

"Yes. Of course. I could never forget either of you." Helen replied, truthfully enough. She tugged self-consciously at her coat sleeve and took her seat. The men followed suit as the first course was served.

Ismay chatted amiably (almost boastfully) about the success of Titanic

"We have the largest grandest most luxurious ship on the earth. "He grinned smugly and poured himself another glass of Merlot. Helen hid her laughter in her own glass. The self-assurance of the tall thin man reminded her of a certain wine loving vampire she knew.

"And at full speed we might even arrive a day early. Wouldn't that be something?"

"Something of a mess!" the captain replied "reservations carriages arriving Cargo to unload. And pick up. It's all on a schedule, Mr. Ismay. Our passengers are expecting us to arrive on time. Too early or too late and they have to scramble for cabs, hotel rooms baggage claims. More than one would lodge a complaint."

Ismay sulked and poured himself more wine. He looked up as a steward handed a note to the captain.

"From the Baltic Sir. Another Ice warning." He bowed. Helen looked up in alarm

"_Another_warning? How many have there been?" She asked as Smith passed the note to Ismay.

"One last night and just two this morning." Smith answered with a light chuckle. "It isn't anything to worry about."

Ismay smirked "This is one of the finest ships on the ocean, crafted carefully by Mr. Andrews. *history line* Built to be utterly unsinkable. I challengethese icebergs to try and sink us. Iceberg warnings indeed! Such trivial hazards are for smaller less sturdy ships." He announced grandly.

Captain smith pulled out the other ice warnings and spread them across the table. Helen examined them carefully

"Have just passed through heavy field ice and several icebergs."

'Captain, Titanic west bound report bergs, growlers and Field ice in 42*N, from 49* to 51*W, compliments, Barr'

'Greek steamer Athenia reports passing icebergs and large quantities of field ice today in latitude 41*51* N, longitude 49*52* W wish you and Titanic all success. Commander'

"That looks like a lot of Ice." She said uncertainly. She didn't know a lot about sailing, but it seemed to her they were heading straight into the large hungry mouth of Charybdis.

"I will plot the course accordingly." Captain Smith reassured them as he collected up the ice warnings. Ismay placed the newest in his own pocket and mumbled into his *meal* about ice warnings.

"Don't worry Miss Magnus." Lightoller smiled. "Captain Smith is the best there is. He has made this crossing countless times. Many a vessel set out on stormier seas with less seaworthy men and made it safely to the shores of America. You can rely on us."

Helen nodded slowly. There was no point worrying about things that might not happen. Especially since nothing seemed to go awry thus far. Clear skies and smooth sailing since they left France. Nothing had gone wrong since the harbor in Southampton. And Helen saw firsthand how well the crew had handled that.

"It's Doctor Magnus." She corrected automatically as she stepped away from the table, barely registering Ismays response.

"Women make for excellent Doctors" He intoned. "There is no reason to assume otherwise."


	30. April 14, 1912 3:22 pm

**April 14, 1912 3:22 pm**

* * *

><p>Helen didn't bother with a swim cap. She slipped on her bathing suit and bathrobe. Helen tied on an overcoat, almost as an afterthought and headed to the Turkish bath.<p>

The large sauna was in itself nothing special, but lavish decor and attention to detail made it look much fancier. The builders had used Moroccan tile mosaic and tinted glass to give the room an exotic _Arabian knights_ look. Helen examined the doorway as she stepped through.

Her long blonde curls frizzed the moment she walked into the steam filled room, but she hardly cared. She slid off her overcoat and hung it on a wall hook then sat back with her eyes closed.  
>She felt like Scheherazade, out of the depths of time and into a magical oasis.<p>

_Have you ever noticed his eyes? _Helen heard her younger self ask.

_"Huhn?" Nikola closed the book he had been reading from. "Who miss Magnus?"_

_Helen laughed and rolled over into the grass. Nikola stayed in the middle of the blanket they had laid out._

_"Call me Helen, Nikola. Even James and Nigel call me Helen; and I've known you a year longer."_

_"Three hundred zeventy nine days, two hours und fifteen minutez." Nikola answered automatically. "I've known you for three hundred zeventy nine..."_

_Helen looked up in time to see the Serbian blush._

_She liked the time she spent alone with the younger man. He seemed more relaxed with just her. He let his guard down, let her see a softer more humbled nature._

_"Zey tell me it iz not proper to call a lady by her virzt name. It iz Dizrezpectful."_

_Helen snorted. "And since when have you ever bothered with what's proper?" Nikola had defied convention since the day they had met._

_"Zat iz different." he waved an impatient hand. "You dezerve rezpect!"_

_It was Helens turn to blush. She crawled back over to the blanket as the young genius buried his nose in the book of poems. She took his hand and watched him tense up. Belatedly, she remembered Nikola s fear of germs._

_"If you respect me, Nikola. Call me Helen. Don't treat me any different than you do the others. I'm not 'the oxford woman'. I'm your friend."_

_Nikola smiled and slowly took her hand._

_"I know ve are friendz. Zat iz vhy I rezpect you." Nikola smiled and went back to his book. Helen settled into the small patch of daises and let Nikola s voice wash over her._

_Her mind was on Druitt. A friend James had introduced them to last month. He was tall with charming manners. Polite and soft spoken. He seemed to immediately believe in her. John was perhaps the first to look at her like she had real potential._

_Helen felt someone close beside her and looked up to see Nikola in the grass beside her. "Miss Magnus?" He gave a shy vampiric smile. "Vhat are you zinking ov?"_

_Helen blushed and looked back to the flowers, choosing her words carefully._

_"Do you remember James friend? Montague Druitt?" Helen asked carefully. "The one we met last month."_

_Nikola stiffened. "Yez. Vhat about him?"_

_"Well. He's quite smart." She watched the younger man carefully_

_"If you're impressed by rhetoric." Nikola snapped the head off a daisy._

_"And he's strong... and studying medicine." Helen didn't dare mention handsome. "And he's eager to learn. Very forward thinking. He was telling me... Nikola do listen to this." She turned her Serbian friend to face her. "He was telling me about this groundbreaking new science. In medicine. Most doctors stick to tried and true methods- even clinging stubbornly to disproven old wives tales. I was thinking, we could use a fifth."_

_"Four ov uz are plenty." Nikola answered almost automatically. "Too many ov uz und ve attract attention!"_

_"But Nikola! He's Prefect!!" Helen gasped/_

And he was. Tall and handsome. With a voice like butter melting over a crumpet. Montague John Druitt was silk and velvet in a world of starched cotton... and there was something else. Something almost dangerous that made Helen trembles all over.

He had kissed her hand when they met. The moment his lips touched her skin, she wished feverently it was her mouth he held with such tender lips.

_"Steady Ms. Magnus." Helen felt a pair of hands on her shoulders before she could topple over. She looked into Nikola s concerned blue eyes and smiled._

_"Were stuck Nikola. It isn't the math and it isn't the equations. It's something you can't fix. We need fresh eyes. Fresh eyes with medical training. John would be perfect. And we need a fifth."_

_Nikola looked at Helen carefully. Perhaps it was the first time he couldn't read her. But she saw concern and doubt in his eyes. She gave him a reassuring smile. "James will vouch for him. I know John can help."_

_Nikola held her face in his hands and nodded slowly. His answer was in Serbian. The first thing he had said to her when they met. The last thing he would later say as a human._

_"I trust you, Helen"_

Helen roused herself from the steam induced slumber state. The warmth was starting to make her head spin. She stood slowly and ducked out of the steam room. The cool evening air hit her as the sunset over the prow, sliding down into the sea. There would be no moon Helen turned from the heavens and went to change. A quick supper in the cafe and an evening in the library sounded appealing.


	31. April 14, 1912 9:40 pm 2 hours

**April 14, 1912 9:40 pm** (2 hours)

* * *

><p>Helen stretched and rubbed her eyes. Her trip to the library had been more fruitful than she expected. She had new insights into the ancient abnormal culture of Ammut. Helen stood and replaced her book, then gathered her notes carefully and tucked them away. Outside it had grown colder. She looked over the inky black glass surface of the Atlantic. The water had to be close to freezing. She could see the breath crystalizing in front of her face<p>

"Soundings?" Helen turned to see Lightoller and Murdoch.

"Our depth is about 12,460 feet. The air temperature is 33 degrees F. Calm seas. Calm as a pond." Lightoller reported.

"Have the lookouts keep sharp then. There won't be breakers on the icebergs without waves." Murdoch scratched his chin. "The problem is the icebergs themselves. An Iceberg can be 80% below the surface. At this altitude a lot of them have melted and refroze. That would create long ice shelves under the surface."

"The Captain changed course. We're heading south."

Helen pulled her coat closer and headed to the Marconi room with quick steps. She counted out the proper money and got the message straight in her head.

_Watson, Have new information. Could lead to Spinephiris anthropolicotus._

Helen knocked softly and waited as footsteps approached the door. Second Marconi officer Harold Bride smiled politely.

"Another customer!" We're a little bit busy. But if you write down your message we can deliver it before the night is out."

"Sooner if the Soddy Californian stops interrupting!" Phillips growled

_"Keep out! Shut up! You're jamming my signal. I'm working Cape Race."_  
>"Another ice warning. How many does that make"  
>"About 6 I think." Bride replied with a roll of the eyes.<p>

"Six ice warnings?" Helen repeated. "In one day?"

"Yeah. Right nuisance it's been too. Anyway what was your message Love?"

"Oh my message. It can wait actually." Helen smiled and walked away. "Thank you all the same. "

Helen headed back through the ship with a leaden feeling in her stomach. Her head was swimming and she shivered as she looked at the water. Lightoller had said the air temperature was 33 degrees Fahrenheit. That was nearly freezing. She put her hands in her pocket and shuffled off to her room as an intense exhaustion overcame her.

She changed into her night clothes and lay down, falling asleep within moments.


	32. April 14 1912 10:57 pm 43 minutes

**April 14 1912 10:57 pm (43 minutes)**

* * *

><p>Helen smiled as John walked her to the door of the London Sanctuary. "I had a wonderful evening, John."<p>

"Yes much like old times" John agreed eloquently. He leaned in almost timidly to kiss her. She smiled and closed her eyes as their lips met. Instantly, the kiss went from timid to devouring, pulling Helen up against him and sending shivers down her spine. It was the most passionate kiss she ever experienced. Helen finally opened her eyes and stared in shock. Nikola was standing there smiling back. A sly glint of electric light shone through his eyes. A dangerous glint.

"Helen." He smiled and caressed her arm. "My Soul-mate"  
>She wanted to knock his hand away, but couldn't. Not after a kiss like that. He smiled as though he could read her thoughts.<p>

"I can see it in your eyes. You're starting to fall in love with me." Nikola smirked and leaned in close to her ear. Helen could feel his fangs extend and quivered with excitement.

His hands slid over her skin. She had seen him do amazing things with those hands. She had seen him twist and manipulate iron and copper to light up an entire city. She had seen him usher the 20th century in with a surge of light. The world trembled at his fingertips and now it was Helens turn. The long crooked oh so skillful fingers played on her ribcage like piano keys.

"I have you right where I want you." Nikola whispered and pulled her into another soul searing kiss. She tried to pull away. She had no business kissing Nikola, no matter how incredible he was! After a moment she ceased to struggle. It had been so long since anyone held her like he did. Careful and loving and protective and fierce all at once. John never held her in such a tight embrace. Helen reached up and ran her hands through his hair. The kiss was electric, like a thousand volts from a live wire.

Helen sat up with a gasp and shook her head, trying to dispel the image. She stumbled over to the washroom sink and splashed water over her flushed face and leaned into the wall. What was wrong with her? She had kissed Nikola-

No she had dreamt of kissing Nikola...

And she had enjoyed it. Another shiver ran down her spine and she took a great gulp of air. She felt like she was drowning. Helen fumbled her clothes and pulled her coat closed and slipped on a shawl before stepping onto the open deck.

Perhaps a midnight stroll would clear her head.


	33. April 14 1912 11:00 Pm 40 minutes

Helen welcomed the sting of the cold salty air that struck her face and whipped her hair back as she stepped out to the starboard deck. The stars blazed cold and distant above. And the titanic bright lights sank low to reflect back in the icy waters.  
>On all sides blackness swallowed the horizon. Helen Magnus stood on the deserted prow in the frigid night air. She might very well have been the last person alive on earth.<p>

Helen gave an involuntary shudder, realizing one day she very well could be. Time marched on with little regard for who lived to see the dawn. Tomorrow was a new day, it had no use for those who aged with it. James and Nigel were holding up well, but they changed. Each year she could see rested more heavily on James shoulders. Etched a new line in Nigel's face. Even Nikola was only half vampire. He could look 50 years old or more. He could possibly die. And Helen would be alone in a world she no longer belonged to.

She didn't know how long she stood gazing idly out before the looming shape registered. A large section of the stars seemed missing. As though a black hole had come to rest on the ocean. The monster Charybdis raising her hungry mouth to the surface. A bell sounded overhead, Helen looked up as the lookouts cry carried through the still night air. It wasn't Charybdis, or her sister, the six-headed ravenous Scylla, loathing and destroying everything that came into her reach, a peril to all sailors who passed near her. But a rock much more treacherous than either of those titans.

"Iceberg! Iceberg dead ahead!" fleet called out Helen gasped and stared in horror at the floating disaster approaching the ship much too fast. The Titanic gave a great shudder and stopped heart poundingly slowly. The ship inched to the right

Helen held her breath and the railing as the dark shape loomed up and slammed the side mercilessly.

8 seconds. I rail vibrated, the hull screamed and ice clashed with Iron in a battle of elements. 8 seconds Metal and water defied each other, man versus nature.

In 8 seconds the largest movable man-made object sealed its doom. 8 seconds to change the lives of 2,200 people.

The ship of dreams was about to become a fateful nightmare.

* * *

><p>Hobbits apologies:<p>

Something went wrong the first time we uploaded this chapter. The notes got cut out.

The iceberg that the Titanic struck was a"blackberg" with a clear surface caused by continuous melting. The clear surface reflected the dark night sky and water like a mirror, thereby making it a black object, almost impossible to see. Not disimilar to the black ice found on winter roads.


	34. April 15 1912 12:02 Am

**April 15 1912 12:02 Am**

* * *

><p>Helen wasn't sure how long she stood there, trying to piece together the unfathomable fact. They had struck an iceberg. She was going to sink <em>the unsinkable ship was sinking <em>

Helen was pulled out of her thoughts by the now familiar voices of Ismay and Andrews. She turned and followed them. The pair met up with Captain Smith in a small room. Helen rounded the corner and stopped at the door.

"The water tight bulk heads only rise to E deck. The water is going

to flood in. Drag her down prow first. There's no doubt. We're

heading for the bottom."

Ismay shook his head disbelievingly. "This is the Titanic. she's

unsinkable... this ship can't sink!"

"It's a ship. She's made of iron. I assure you she can. "Andrews

replied darkly. "And she will."

"How long?" Captain Smith asked solemnly. "Mr. Andrews?"

Andrews shook his head. "Two hours. Maybe a few minutes more. Once

we lose boiler room 6, we're going to go down."

"Dear God" Helen gasped. The men didn't seem to hear.

"Alright. Uncover the life boats. Round up the women and children.

Mr. Andrews, Get your men. See if there's anything to be done.

Whatever time you can give us is appreciated. See to it the

passengers aren't panicked. Mr. Murdoch..."

Murdoch sighed and stepped forward. "I'm sorry Captain we had no

warning. We got the call down with 30 seconds to react.-"

"You had a hard decision and a split second to make it. Under the

circumstances, you did well." Smith replied. "The blame rests with

me. But now is not the time for that. We need solutions. Mr.

Lightoller, Go to the Marconi room. Send out the SOS. And CQD All

ships." He looked to the door and blinked, seeing Helen for the first time.

"Dr. Magnus. Under normal circumstances I would be pleased to see you."

"Forgive me if I'm intruding. I was on the deck when we hit the Iceberg. I saw Mr. Ismay come in here..."

"Well. Never mind that. Get to the lifeboats as fast as you can. And be careful"

The captain looked out the window with watery unfocussed eyes. "This was to be my last voyage. Indeed, I should have retired decades ago. But the sea, she called. What better way for Captain Edward John Smith to go out, but on the maiden voyage of Titanic, the grandest ship the world has ever seen? One last bone for this old seadog."

Helen watched the Sturdy old man warily. "What will you do now?"

The captain turned back with a steely glint of determination in his eyes. "Everything I can." He nodded and headed out toward the bridge.

Helen squared her shoulders and headed to the now crowded deck as she felt the engines thrum as the ship tried to move.  
>Helen arrived on Deck B; she saw Hartley setting up with the orchestra and the 'band' He tried valiantly to smile.<p>

"Alright now. A good lively ragtime. Nice and lively. We don't need the passengers to panic."

"Yeah." Woodward Agreed, setting down his Cello. "Last thing you should do in a crisis." He said cheerfully. "Awful time to panic."

Helen kept walking heading toward the boats ignoring the general hubbub and grumbling.

"Listen Sonny. I don't care what the captain said." A familiar voice cut in above the rising Din. Helen recognized Margaret Brown following a nervous looking seaman around. "Quit running away and tell me what's going on. You keep telling me nothing is wrong and waking us up in the middle of the night is just procedure. Nothing to worry about, but the crew is running around like they got a fox in the henhouse." Helen followed the sound of the voice until she saw the energetic woman arguing with a crewmember.

"No don't you try and feed me that normal proceedings horse sh-Helen!" Maggie smiled and hugged her briefly. the harried looking seaman made good his escape and disappeared into the crowd. "Helen dear, where is your life belt?" She pulled an extra life vest from a pile of them in her hand and gave it to Helen. "I though these would come in handy. But no one will tell me what it's about. They said it's all procedure, just a drill, just a precaution. The crew is saying not to panic meanwhile they're running around like scared rabbits."

Helen sighed. "They're trying to keep it quiet, and hold order. But the truth is the ship is crippled. She's going to sink. Soon"

Maggie stared at her in disbelief. Helen feared for a moment she was going to scream. As it were Helen felt like crawling into a corner to cry.

"Alright then." Maggie finally nodded. "Well we can't leave it all up to the crew can we? Let's get those boats filled." She briskly walked up to a first class women arguing about her bag left behind in her stateroom.

"Now don't you fret dear. The bags will be brought up later. Just get into the boat now. Besides you'll want the elbow room. Come on Love. That's it into the boat. Come along Mrs. Crosby. Yes your daughter too."

Helen turned to another woman, a young 20 something and helped her into the boat, a small white and not very sturdy compared to the grand Titanic she hung from. Helen saw the number 7 painted on the side before the crewman called them to lower the boat.

As the boat dropped into the icy water, Watson's words rang in her ears.

_Helen. You deserve this. You need this_

"Oh James dear what did I ever do to you to deserve _this_?"


	35. April 15,1912 12:55 am

**April 15,1912 12:55 am**

* * *

><p>Helen coaxed another woman into the lifeboat and wiped her brow.<p>

"People are quite reluctant to climb off the safety of the Titanic to sail off in a bobbing little lifeboat." Maggie's sighed as she paused for a breath beside Helen.

"They would be scrambling if they knew..." Helen replied solemnly.

"And rioting. And panicking. We may yet see that." Maggie sighed and grunted as she walked over and coaxed another woman into a boat.

Maggie nodded darkly and turned as another woman was lead to a boat. "Come on with you. In we go."

"I don't know." the woman frowned. It's awfully small. Will the boats be seated by class? I don't want to be confused for a pauper or something." The woman frowned. Helen ground her teeth silently. Didn't people understand this was an emergency? Life and death!

"I dunno about that, But I'm sure we can find you a nice first class Iceberg" Maggie murmured tartly. "If I were you I would get in the boat."

"I reckon you'll want this as well?" Charles Joughin  
>, the head baker smiled and held up four loaves of bread. "When they said women and children were being loaded into the boats, I thought some Victuals would be a good idea."<br>Helen smiled and handed the bread over to the women in the nearest boat.

"I guess now we know what the Tommyknockers were knocking." Helen sighed.

Joughin smiled wistfully. "Whatever happens tonight Dr. Magnus, It was an honor to meet you." the wendigo handed off his bread and took a long sip from his flask. "I have a boat to man. If you'll excuse me, ladies..." He bowed and headed over to another part of the ship. "Good luck. And keep yourselves safe. Helen turned to a woman who was babbling away about her life belt.

"It doesn't go at all with my dress. I mean it positively clashes. Do they really expect us to wear such outdated things? In public! And it's so bulky. It does nothing for my figure."

"But it floats nicely." Helen sighed tiredly and led the complaining woman to a boat "Perhaps you can design more fashionable life belts when we get to New York."

Helen ducked back into the crowd as a loud yell was heard from the front of the deck.

"Hey Buster! What's the big idea?" Helen turned to see a burly sailor lift Maggie brown and drop her unceremoniously into a lifeboat. "All due Respect, Mrs. Brown. But women and children...that means you."

Helen melted into the crowd as the boat carrying Margret Brown was lowered. While she didn't mean to go down with the ship, she wasn't leaving just yet. There were a lot of people who would need her help.


	36. April 15, 1912 1:22 am

**April 15, 1912 1:22 am**

* * *

><p>Slowly the ship tilted into the water, slanting the deck to the right. Helen held the rail, making her way across the sloping deck. It was evident the ship was sinking and despite the cheery music and the crews best efforts people were starting to panic.<p>

Helen crossed to Murdoch, who was supervising a lifeboat loaded by two crewmen.

"Mr. Murdoch, the lifeboats are being lowered straight into the water. What about second and third class?" Helen pointed to the dismally half empty boats in the water.

Murdoch looked down and nodded grimly.

"Right. Let's bring up some of the women and children from 3rd and second class." Murdoch fought his way through the crowd of people gathered around the boats. "Women and children" He sighed in exasperation as a few men tried begging and bribing for a spot on the lifeboats. Murdoch shook his head and moved on through the crowds. Helen followed him to the second class deck.

"Women and children please. Bring the women and children forward." Murdoch called. Slowly the men shuffled aside and cleared a path.

"Dr. Magnus bring this group up to the boat deck. I'm going to find some more. "

Helen gathered up her group and led the way to B deck  
>into chaos.<p>

On the top order had disintegrated altogether. People ran in every direction, picking up discarded suitcases and putting them back down. Slipping stumbling tripping over one another. Colliding with others. Some simply stood in one spot and stared as the ocean peaked over the bow.

Helen headed over to the nearest lifeboat and handed the small group to the man she recognized as Fred Barret.

"Women and children from second class. Murdoch is gathering more."

"Thank you Dr. Magnus" Barret nodded and began loading the passengers. Helen wasted no time but headed below decks again. She found the first set of gates locked and deserted. She moved on until she heard a call for help up head and quickened her steps.

"Here! I'm here!" she called back and gasped as she turned the last corner. A hundred or so people were pressed against the locked gate crying and calling for help.

"Dear god" Helen gasped as the cries doubled at the sight of her.

"Hold on. I'll find someone with the keys." Helen called and

"Please hurry. The water level is getting really high." A man called.

Helen nodded and headed off. She ran down the passageway until she came to a man in a titanic uniform. "Help. We need help over here... nowhere are you going?"

Helen asked as the clearly panicked sailor dragged her up the stairs. "Nothing for you here miss, let's get you to a boat. "

"There's a crowd. In the next stair well the gates are locked. They're trapped... the ship is going to sink! We need to-"

"We need to get you to a boat. If you open the gates They will panic. You'll be killed on the onslaught. "The sailor objected. "Best leave them to their fate."

"Those are human beings you're talking about!" Helen said angrily. She pulled away from the sailor, grabbing his keys and hurried back to the gate.

"Miss Magnus?" The foremost man smiled and Helen recognized him as her dance partner. Helen smiled back as best she could given the circumstances.

"What are you doing here?" He chided gently. "You should have got on a lifeboat hours ago."

"I couldn't turn tail and save my own skin knowing others could die." Helen replied, searching for the key to the gate.

"You can't save everyone" A surly man answered ominously.

"I'll save who I can." Helen inserted the key and unlocked the gate. Instantly she was lifted off the ground as a sea of people surged through the gate.

"Careful Miss Magnus frightened men are no different than any other animal." Helen recognized the man carrying her as the singer from the party in third class. He moved ahead of the crowd nimbly, carrying Helen carefully up the stairs.

"Are you a satyr?" Helen asked, noting his hooves.

"Irish cousin." He shrugged and set her down on the ground, out of harm's way. Helen looked back down the stairs. Halfway down lay the first man who asked her to dance. He was face down and not moving. Helen didn't need to take his pulse to know he was dead. The goat man looked back and sighed.

"Shame that. He was a nice fellow."

"I have to find Mr. Murdoch" Helen sighed and turned back to the stairwell. The goatman nodded.

"Go on, I'll get this lot to a lifeboat."

Helen nodded and dashed off across the sloping deck. She held the railing and still nearly lost her balance with each step. A sudden lurch sent her flying. She righted herself and scrambled to a nearby doorway.

"Sorry miss. Your message is going to have to wait." Helen looked about and realized she was in the Marconi room.

"I don't think I could sum this up in 10 words or less." Helen murmured in a daze. Helen regained her balance as Phillips tapped out an SOS as fast as he could.

"Where did you come from?" Phillips asked as Helen regained her balance. She shook out her skirts and sighed. "I couldn't even begin to explain. Do you need a hand? I know Morse code."

"Much obliged. If you could send out an SOS I'd be grateful."

Helen sat down and began tapping out a distress call as fast as she could. *woman and children in lifeboats cannot last long*

Helen held her breath hoping every minute there would be an answer. But none came. She looked up when she heard a cough. Bride, looing somewhat ragged, had returned.

"I thought you would have got yourself to a boat." Phillips sighed as Bride sat down.  
>"A worthy seaman never abandons his post" Bride Intoned.<p>

"Anything from the captain?" Phillips asked, barely looking up. Bride shook his head.

"No. He's helping load the women and children into the boats. "He looked over at Helen and ushered her out."They're going fast; you'd better hurry and get on one."

Helen sighed and headed out the door, fighting her way through the terrified crowds. A man and woman were arguing but she didn't stop to intervene.

"Ida get into the boat Love." Helen recognized the old couple Maggie had pointed out at the dance.

"We have been together for many years. Where you go, I go." The woman smiled and took her husband's hand in her own.

There was so much noise and screaming, it was hard to distinguish any one voice. Helen was passing an open doorway that lead to 2nd class when a distinct call for help drifted over the onslaught of noise.

Helen followed the call down the stairs. At the bottom was Officer Murdoch, holding a glass and oak hutch. He was braced against the wall with a small group of children.

"Dr. Magnus!" He gasped as he caught sight of her. "Take the children, get to the boats. "

"What about you?" Helen asked as she ushered the children and hustled them up the stairs. Murdoch shook his head.

"I can't let this go once they're clear. They can't navigate the sloping decks alone."

Helen nodded and led the frightened children up the stairs.

A sudden lurch nearly knocked Helen back down. She braced herself with one arm and caught the smallest child from toppling over. There was a thunderous crash behind her. With a sickening feeling, Helen turned to see the hutch and the man who had been holding it were gone. Smashed by a heavy table and what was unmistakably once a piano. Nothing left but splinters of wood and glass. She didn't need a doctor degree to know-

but the time to grieve was later. Helen bustled her small heard up to the lifeboat deck as 13 was ready to be cast off.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes<strong>

Exactly what Murdoch's fate was is to this day unclear. However; the notion of suicide has been vehemently rejected as false. While the truth remains buried with the remains of the unsinkable ship twelve thousand six hundred feet under the Atlantic Ocean, we felt this a fitting and noble end to a man of his caliber.


	37. April 15 1912 1:42am

**April 15 1912 1:42am**

* * *

><p>"Anymore women and children? Anymore?" Lowe called as the Life boat 13 hung out over the water.<p>

"Yes here." Helen called, herding the children to the boat. Barret loaded the children into the boat then held out his hand for Helen who shook her head. "I can't go yet. I still have someone I need to find." She lied. Barret sighed and wiped his brow.

"Alright then, lower away." He called. "Steady now, steady."

Helen breathed a small sigh and closed her eyes in relief. There

was a cry of fright seconds later. Helen opened her eyes and

gasped in fear.

"Stop stop..." She called as life boat 17 was lowered on top of

boat 13. There was barely a foot between the boats as Fred Barret

cut the ropes.

Helen gripped the rope attached to lifeboat 17. "We need to pull

it back up!" Lowe shook his head. "This ship is sinking and there are too many people. All we can do is hold the boat steady and wait for boat 13 to get into the water. "

Helen held her breath as life boat 13 slipped out to the water.

"It's alright now. Lower away." Helen breathed. She hugged the

railing and made her way toward the stern where the remaining

passengers were gathering as the ocean claimed the bow.

From the corner of her eye, Helen saw Ismay climb into collapsible

C. Any other day she would revile him as a coward, but she

currently had more pressing matters to tend to.

Helen looked up as a patio chair flew overhead and landed in the

water. Someone in the A deck Promenade was throwing them out a

smashed window. She caught sight of a fast-moving shadow. Helen

sighed. Even in the abnormal world, very few creatures could

maintain such speed.

"What are you doing? Shouldn't you get to a boat?" Helen arrived on the enclosed promenade just as Joughlin stopped to take a drink.

"I filled my boat. Never met such stubborn women. Save perhaps you. Why aren't you on a boat Doctor?"

"I've been busy getting other people onto the boats. I honestly didn't think of myself." Helen answered with a small blush. Joughlin threw another chair out of the hole in the window he made. "I recon that's about 50. Let's get you to a boat." He lead Helen back out to the deck. "Seems this old tub wants to stand right up on her head, don't it?"

The walk was almost completely uphill climb toward the stern.  
>The Atlantic went on forever.<p>

"Dear God" Helen breathed, looking out to the wide expanse of blackness. For all her size and glory, titanic suddenly seemed small. Hundreds of people ran about, screaming crying praying and  
>pushing.<p>

They were lost and frightened. Men begging wives and children to get into boats. Even with the Titanic floundering the women refused to leave their husbands. Deck hands took to flinging their charges into the boats, despite many who wished to return to their cabins for a missing glove or favorite pair of Opera lenses. Every moment chaos descended upon the frenzied crowds. A great shudder shook the ship, knocking a dozen people across the deck. Helen fell to the ground winded. Joughlin picked her up quickly.

"We best had get to the stern, Dr. Magnus." He pulled her to the starboard railing.

Helen reached the relatively safe stern and sighed. It promised to be a long night.


	38. April 15 1912 1:53 am

**April 15 1912 1:53 am**

* * *

><p>"Dr Magnus!" Helen turned as a familiar voice called her name. Out of the vast sea of pale frightened faces emerged a pair she recognized. "Have you seen Maggie?" Mr Astor asked and looked back at the disapearing bow. There are so many people running about, it's almsot impossible to keep track of anyone."<br>"We havent seen her in an hour." Madeline sighed.  
>"Maddie saw you and thought perhaps you knew where she was?" Astor asked hopefully.<br>"I hope she didnt go below deck." Maddaline sighed. "Do you think we could go look?"  
>Joughlin shook his head. "Theres no 'below deck' no more, maam. everywhere is flooded. Saving perhaps the swimming pool, from what I heard."<br>"I saw Maggie get placed on a lifeboat about an hour ago." Helen replied.  
>Astor put on a brave smile. "There you see, Maddie. youve been fretting over nothing. Maggie is a survivor. She'll be fine." He took Madaline by the elbow and wrapped the other arm over Helens shoulder. "Come on, ladies lets get to the boats." He said, leading the pair along.<br>Helen saw a group of men and women from thirdclass fighting to get out to the lifeboats. As they passed, a woman with a small child caught Helens sleeve.  
>"Please." She begged in serbian, "Take my son. I know they are only loading first class right now but at least let my son on with you?"<br>Helen latched onto her and pulled them both along with her.  
>"Please, my son Palve is only a child. Let him on the boats wont you?" Helen placed a hand on her shoulder.<br>"Youre both going on the boat." Helen promised.  
>Astor stopped and pulled another woman forward. "Quickly now. Come on. " he said, loading Palve and his mother into the boat. He lifted Madeline carefully into the boat. She turned and took his hand.<br>"Come on Darling, the boat is almost full."  
>Lightoller shook his head. "Women and children only."<br>Astor nodded. "Ill find you later Maddie. Ill come bac for you" He promised and leaned close for a kiss.  
>Helen turned away to afford the pair some privacy. and looked out to the ocean. The overwhelming number of floundering people was almost nausiating. She spotted a lifeboat not far off.<br>"Over there, why arent they collecting people from the water?"  
>Lightoller barely looked up. "Too many. They would flood the boats and swamp them."<br>"But the boat is so empty!" Helen argued. "Theres only a dozen or so people aboard."  
>"The theory was to lower it to second class and load it with more people. But we werent sure of the weight limits. Once the boats get organized, we can send some back to pick them up."<br>Helen looked at him in disbelief. "They dont have that sort of time. Hypothermia sets in under 30 minutes in water that cold! The human body loses heat to the water about 30 times faster than it does to the air. When the core body temperature falls to approximately 89°, a decrease in consciousness occurs. If the core temperature cools to below 86°, then heart failure is a major problem."  
>"All due respect, miss. We understand But there isnt anything else we can do. We are doing all we can to save as many as possible."<br>Astor nodded. "Then I shall aid you any way I can. Godspeed, Mr Lightoller."  
>Helen sighed and followed Astor into the chaos. Ahead there was a loud barking noise.<br>"Kitty!" Astor exclaimed and began running in a particular direction. Helen followed Astor to find the kennel.  
>"We need to help them." Helen gasped, looking at the dogs pawing desperately at thier cages.<br>"My Airendale Kitty is here. I now where the keys are kept" Astor nodded and handed her a set of keys. Helen began unlocking the cages on one side as Astor unlocked the other side.  
>"Do you supose theres anyone left in the top suites?" Helen asked. Astor shrugged. "Might as well check. It would be dreadful to think we just left them to die."<br>Helen lead the way up to the cabins of Deck B, knocking on the doors as she passed.  
>"Hello?" she called, trying to open one of the doors. "This door apears to be locked"<br>"This one as well." Astor nodded, trying the next door.  
>"Pardon me, but the pair of you shouldnt be in here." A steward lead the pair back out. "The area has been evacuated and sealed off to keep people from trying to sneak back in. "<br>"What about the lower decks?" Astor asked. The Steward shook his head. "Flooded. Nothing left."

"There must be some airtight places-" Astor began but the steward shook his head and blanched. "I hope not. once the water took over the air pockets would build so much atmospheric pressure, the human body would implode."  
>"Dear God." Helen breathed. Astor bowed his head. A loud scream was heard from above, jolting them back to the present.<br>"God speed. I have to get back.." the steward touched his hat and sped off in the direction he came.  
>Helen looked to Astor and pointed to where the scream resounded. "Should we investigate?"<br>Astor nodded and shuddered. " I hate to say it. Drowning dosnt sound so bad now." he sighed and lead the way up to the stern.  
>"well we arent dead yet." Helen said determinedly.<br>Astor nodded with a grim smile. "Thats in our favour."


	39. April 15 1912 2:01 am

**April 15 1912 2:01 am**

* * *

><p>Helen followed Astor back up in time to see life boat 4 head into the surrounding darkness. Men were putting Deck chairs end to end,creating a bridge to alllow the women into the collapsable D, the next lifeboat to be launched. Lightoller and other crewmen formed a ring around it, keeping the paniced men out.<br>"Women and children." Lightoller called, pushing aside a young  
>man. A nerby woman took the youths hand and cried.<p>

"Please. He ismy son, he s only 10... he looks older but he is big for his age." Lightoller nodded and let the boy go.

"Might I borrow this?" Astor pulled a hat from a nearby womans head and put it on a small boy nearby. Helen wrapped her own shawl around another. Lightoller shot a warning shot into the air as a group of men surged forward. They cleared a path as a man came forward,escorting a woman and three small children.  
>"My wife and children, please let us pass. " He gave the woman a watery smile as she was loaded into a life boat. "No tears my love. Youll frighten the children. Into the boat now son, thats a good lad. I love you too... Be a good boy or you shall catch it when I get back.. hold your sisters hand, no shes too smalll. Be<br>good for mommy. No, theres no room in the boat for me. Theyll have another boat soon." He smiled as bravely as he could and kissedhis wife. She gave him a teary smile in return.  
>"No tears dear." She whispered back. "Youll frighten the children."<br>"Be brittinsh, Men. Be brittish!" Captain Smith strolled along the deck, calling as he went. He lead a young woman in rags forward.

"Come now, Miss, into the boat with you. Atta girl... Dr. Magnus, youre next. Come on now."

Helen shook her head. "I can still be of use here."

"Nonsense. youre more use to us on the boat Come along now... Dr. Magnus!"  
>Helen wasnt listening. She turned around and headed off in the oposite direction, squirming through the terrified rowds. She wasnt sure where she was headed or why, but she knew there was more to do . Her lifes work had been helping other, as was her fathers before her. She couldnt stop now.<p>

"A Signal Sir. From the _Carpethia_." Helen recognised the voice of Harold Bride, the second Marconi officer and doubled back.

"How far is she?" Smith asked.

"About 58 miles can be here in 3 hours."

"We dont have three hours." the captain blanched.

"Shes the only ship responding, sir." Bride replied almost apologeticallly. "We'll keep trying."

"We certainly will." Captain Smith nodded solemnly. "Godspeed, Mr Bride."

Helen looked out to the rappidly disapearing bow. as a pair of men climbed over the railings. They looked ready to jump. She headed toward them and recognized them quickly. Jack Thayer and Milton Long, the young men from dinner.

"No, wait!" Helen called, trying to catch them. She doubted they could hear her as Milton jumped, followed seconds later by Jack.  
>Helen reached the saftey line as a sudden lurch tiped the boat forward. Helen was crushed against the side as a dozen or so<br>people lost their balance. There was a rush and confusion all around as the crowd moved on. Helen caught sight of the one person  
>who had kept his balance. Joughlin was heading for the stern . He smiled at Helen and helped her to her feet.<p>

"There goes the forcstle." He sighed and looked back at the completely submerged bow. "Lets get you back to the boat deck.  
>Collapsable B is about to be launched."<br>Joulin pulled a semidazed Helen, who was vaugly aware of the  
>screams coming from all sides and- though it struck her as odd-,<br>music was playing.


	40. April 15 1912 2:15 am

**April 15 1912 2:15 am**

* * *

><p>Helen followed the crowd, no longer sure what to do. There were still so many people and only two lifeboats.<br>Water poured freely into every nook and crevice. Getting into a lifeboat now would be sealing someone else's fate. Helen drew level with the source of a noise that didnt fit the chaotic scene on all sides; violins.  
>"Mr Hartley?" Helen looked at the lead musician in shock. "What are you doing here? Still on board?"<br>Hartley gave a modest shrug. We have been tring to keep order. You know the old saying, 'music soothes the savage beast'? We figure it might have a calming effect on frightened passengers. He shrugged "You had best get to a boat miss. There arent very many left."  
>"What about you?" Helen asked, looking at the orchestra.<br>Hartley gave a sad hopeless smile. "Theres no boat for us. But we knew that from the beginning."  
>Helen shook hands with the eight musicians as they all wished her well.<br>"Its been a privlage playing with you, gentlemen." Hartly smiled to his crew.  
>"Aye" the rest coursed in agreement.<br>"perhaps we'll all go to heaven" a fiddler said hopefully. "And we'll get those little gold harps/"  
>"Not me" The celloman, John Woodward proclaimed stoutly. "If I cant bring my cello I aint goin."<br>There was a small subdued laugh from the others before they sobered up and began playing an old hymm Helen knew but couldnt quite place  
>E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me, still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to thee; nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!<br>Helen realized it was the song Nikola often sand when he was nevrvous or unsure.  
>"Put that oar in place, Careful men" An officer with the name 'Wilde' on his hat supervised collapsable B. Helen watched anxiously as crewmen and passengers tried to move the overturned lifeboat from its restaints and transport it to the boat deck.<br>"Steady lads, steady" With an almighty crash the boat landed upside down on the boat deck. the men began scrambling to flip the boat back over. Helen headed over to see if she could help.  
>"Dr. Magnus? Still on board?" Wilde asked in surprise. "I thought you would have grabbed the first lifeboat off."<br>Helen shook her head. "I couldn't leave knowing so many people needed help."  
>Wilde shook his head. "Is there another boat on the other side?"<br>"I wont take someone elses place!" Helen exclaimed. "There are plenty more deserving people who should have a place on the boat before me."  
>"Calm yourself Dr Magnus, if you please." Astor said from behind her. "It does not good to panic."<br>"Im not paniced, Im annoyed." Helen replied with a deep breath.  
>Astor nodded with an understanding look. "I am going to check for any more women and children. Perhaps in the dining hall? If you could help me convince them to leave, I would apriciate it. "<br>Helen took another calming breath and nodded. "Very well. One last loo." she followed Astor into the dining hall where many men and a few women were dressed in finest evening wear milling about.  
>"Colonol Astor Good to see you, dear boy! " A well dressed man proclaimed and waved his arm tipsily. "Well in a manner of speaing. Its a shame about the s-s-ship." he slurred "Care for a brandy?"<br>"No, than you." Astor refused politely. "We re here to collect any women or children that might have been left behind."  
>"You could ask, but most in here have opted to make the best of the sining. Or to go down with their husbands..." the Brandy man slurred. "Why just 10 minutes ago-"<br>Helen stopped listening. She had seen a familiar form slip into the smoking lounge. Heart pounding in her ears, Helen followed.  
>On a normal day, a proper victorian woman wouldnt even think of stepping into a gentlemans room. But times were desprate and so was Helen.<br>"Mr Andrews?" Helen asked, aproaching the shipwright carefully. The man in question turned to look at her slowly.  
>"Mr Andrews, surly theyll let you on a lifeboat? Theres still time."<br>"History will remember me as the man responsible for all this. I'm the one who made all this happen." andrews intoned solemnly. "Save yourself, Dr Magnus. and those who deserve a better fate. I will not flee to save my own sin when I have already condemned so many others to die."  
>"Mr Andrews, you cant mean that." Helen stared at the glassyeyed man then shook herself. There was no time to indulge in other peoples pity parties. "Forgive me if I dont give up so easily." Helen turned and headed out of the smoking lounge.<p> 


	41. April 15 1912 2:16 am

**April 15 1912 2:16 am**

* * *

><p>Moving about was getting more and more difficult. Helen was almost sure if the ship tilted anymore she would be<br>perpendicular to the water. She shoved the ridiculous notion from her mind. The steamer wasnt built to hold that kind of weight. There was no  
>possible way...<br>Helen reached the stern as the last strains of music floated across the night air. The sudden silence made the  
>screaming on all sides somehow less puntiated. somewhat out of place. Helen fought her way through the masses<br>with Astor trying to keep up. Helen caught sight of the orchestra trying to keep their balance.  
>"Oh buck up lads." Woodward said in a falsely cheerful voice. "Its only the end of the world."<br>The violinist beside him chuckled. "John, you always were an optimist."  
>A soft whine made helen turn in time to see Astor striding over with his faithful airendale, Kitty. He nodded as<br>she aproached.  
>"The captain released the crew. Its every man for himself. I saw him headig into the wheelhouse, but he " he<br>reported, handing out some spare life belts. "Phillips is still in the Marconi room, trying to signal other ships.  
>Stuborn that one."<br>Helen nodded grimly. "Noble though, you have to give him that. Lets hope he can get word out to a closer ship. The  
>Carpathia is too far away."<br>"And people are getting desperate." Astor sighed as another man jumped overboard. Helen sighed and placed a  
>lifebelt on a young boy standing alone on the sloping deck. "Where are your parents?" she asked. The young boy<br>only shrugged before a wild looking man snatched the boy and ran toward the boats. The pair were soon lost in the  
>crowd.<br>Helen looked up at the earily quiet enclosed prominade. It was lit up despite being empty. She frowned as an uneasy  
>feeling crept over her. The glimering sight held a sense of forboding Helen couldnt place. Then it hit her suddenly<br>and she caught Astors arm. "The lights are still on. How is that possible?"  
>Astor shrugged. "There must be someone down in the boiler rooms, keeping the lights on. The captain mentioned thats<br>where the electricity is controlled." He replied, looing up at the splendid first class dining room. "We need to  
>find them and help them to a boat."<br>Despite the long tilting deck, Astor and Helen set off for the lifts. Water spilled onto the ship, numbing their  
>toes in a matter of seconds.<br>"Will the lift be operating?" Helen wondered, fighting the weight of her sodden hem.  
>"I dont know. It is 2 in the morning" Astor shrugged<br>"I think I saw some stairs not far from here." Helen took the lead, stepping high to keep as dry as possible. The  
>task grew more difficult as they moved forward, wheather because the water was rising, or the ship was sinking,<br>Helen didnt dare guess.  
>She made it to a small flight of stairs leading to the lower deck just as a loud metalic crash was heard from<br>behind. She whipped around to see the first funnel had come loose. Paniced screams were cut short as the 60 ton  
>smokestack landed in the water on top of dozens of floundering people. Helen raced to the side of the ship as the<br>funnel slipped beneathe the surface, taking its unfotunate victims along in the sution.  
>A low whimper and destressed bark reached Helens ears, making her look back up. Kitty stood by the funnel base.<br>Alone.  
>Astor was gone.<p> 


	42. April 15 1912 2:19 AM

**April 15 1912 2:19 AM**

* * *

><p>Helen would have liked to grant a moment of silence to the passing of Col Astor, but she didnt have time. The ship was sinking rapidly. She pushed onward toward theships<br>was a long labrythine passage, hard to navigate. Finally she found the ladder heading to the boiler rooom.  
>Loud crashing noises were heard over head as everything shifted forward. Helen<br>thought she heard the distinct sound of a piano being smashed. More distinctly she  
>heard voices up ahead. A pair of men were grappling with the oncoming water and a<br>largrge panel of switches.  
>"Oi!" one of the men took notice of Helen "How did you get in here?" Helen<br>recognised the voice of Joseph Bell.  
>"We need to get out of here." Helen replied urgently. "The ship is sinking and<br>theres very few lifeboats left."  
>Mr Bell shook his head. "If we leave, the ship loses electricity. We cant let that<br>happen. If the electric goes out, we lose the pumps, and the ability to call for  
>help. The ship will sink faster and people will die. Go on back up, we'll buy you<br>time."  
>Helen shook her head. "Im not leaving you here. Theres a ship coming, the Carpathia.<br>Its on its way here! It-"  
>"Its already too late." Another man shook his head. "Go on, get out of here. We'll<br>buy you some time."  
>"Theres got to be a way..." Helen replied desperately.<br>"There is" Bell nodded. "And this is it. Dont make it a waste."  
>He turned to his companion who agreed "Save who you can, Miss, but not us." He said,<br>pushing Helen bac to the door. "Go now, before its too late."  
>Helen scrammbled back up the ladder , a feat made more difficult by the slant of the<br>ship. She clung desperately to the rail as she climbed almost sideways and  
>hastened to the rising stern. She held the cables to the fourth funnel and gasped<br>as the stern stood straith up out ot the water.  
>"Dear God!" Helen gasped. She turned as a loud creak was heard from behind her. A<br>large chasm opened at her feet as the Titianic split in two. Helen held tightly to  
>the cables and watched helplessly as people fell past her.<br>This was it, Helen realized with sureal calm. this was the end. Dr Helen Magnus  
>'the Oxford woman' head of the Sanctuary and creator of the Five was going to die.<br>She would never marry John. She would never have a child. She would never see Nigel again She would never fogive James for this.  
>As Helen watched the churning water swallow the unsikable wonder, her thoughts<br>floated to her erstwhile friend, Nikola Tesla.  
>He reminded her of Icarus, with his flights of fancy, grand ideas and childlike<br>belief. Sure Nikola could be brash and arrogant. At times he was even selfish. But  
>somehow, it was all part of his charm. He was bold and daring, flying to the sun on<br>wings of chance. He left Croatia with nothing and arived in Oxford with only a  
>handful of ideas. Grand impractical ideas. It was his ability to belive in the<br>impossible that made him perfect as one of the 5  
>He would not takeher death well.<br>Helen watched calmly as the waiting sea drew closer.  
>Just before she was sucked under, the front of the ship broke clear off, releasing<br>the stern. The remaining half of the ship plunged bak into the water. Thesuddenshift  
>made the Cablehele washolding to snap. It whipped ou. carrying Helen high into the<br>air and tossing her deep into the middle of the momentunm sent her well  
>below the surface. almost imediately,her lifeboat pushed her back up to the<br>broke the surface just as the Titanic retreatedtothe icy depths of the  
>black atlantic.<br>There was a great shudderas though the dying ship too a last desperate breath. The  
>lights flickered once and went out. for the last time. Then, the worlds largest<br>steamer slipped beneath the waves, never to see sunlight again.  
>A great clamour arose as hundredsof people in the water screamed, criedand begged<br>for help. Helen stayed still and silent as the icy water soaked into her bones.  
>London, New York, the middle of the ocean-what did it matter? Surrounded by<br>hundreds of people, Helen was alone. Shrouded in a cloud of misery she couldn't  
>shake. Adrift in her own body, In her own soul. Adrift in a life that fell apart<br>when she was making other plans.  
>Her future with John was gone, her child delayed. All she saw in store for herself<br>was long endless years in a cold, vast lonliness. A deep abyss no one could save her from  
>She was ready to die.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>NOTES <strong>

The song is called _Nearer my god to thee_. one of the last songs reportedly played by the band, just before the end

Joseph Bell and his engineers, all stayed at their posts to the end.  
>Without their self-sacrifice, the Titanic would have lost electrical power much<br>earlier, and without wireless, pumps and lights the death toll would have been much  
>higher. Bell died at his post, keeping the pumps going and lights burning until 2<br>minutes before Titanic sank. Thomas Andrews, the ship's designer, thought the Titanic  
>would last for an hour. Joseph Bell and his men kept her alive for 2 hours 40 minutes.<br>Without the efforts of the Engineering team, water would have overwhelmed the  
>boilers and engine compartment much earlier, causing explosions which would have<br>sent the ship to the bottom sooner. The power would have gone, plunging the ship  
>into darkness. No distress call could have been sent, It's unlikely many boats would<br>have been launched, and no rescue ships would have raced to the Titanic's position.

Iccarus is an ancient greek myth about a young idealistic boy. His father  
>created wings for himself and his son with wax and disguarded feathers. Icarus was<br>having so much fun flying about he didnt realize he got too close to the sun, melting  
>the wax and making his wings fall apart.<p>

The moral is basically about humans over reaching their abilities and thereby failing with cataclysmic repercutions.


	43. April 15 1912 5:15 am

**April15 1912 5:15 am**

* * *

><p>It wasnt a sound that had woken Helen , but the absence of it. Her brain felt hazy. Like a blanket of fog hugged her mind, shrouding her thoughts in a thick mist. Helen tried to pull herself together. The lack of sound was important. It meant something.<br>She was so cold... and so wet. Why was she in this fridged water? Helen slowly opened her eyes.  
><em>This one is alive!<em> a strange voice said inwonder. A 'voice' Helen only heard in her head.  
>"Who said that?" Helen turned to find herself mostly out of the water, laying on an overturned bookshelf. Several green wild heads bubbled up from the depths.<br>_So many have died here. _A second voice said. _We will not stay here, where death hangs in the water._  
>"Mermaids." Helen whispered reverently. "I thought you were exstinct."<br>_We dont show ourselves to humans. But you seem diffrent. More understanding._  
><em>and you needed help<em> The first voice added. _We tried helping the others as well. But the water is too cold. and The boats are too far away._  
>Helen sat up carefully and looked out for the lifeboats. Most were off in the distance. One seemed to be going in circles; further from the others. Helen lay back down. It was no use. She had no way to to reach them. No way to shore. No reason to try.<br>"Thankyou for all you help."Helen told the small group of seafolk. "But it seems this is my fate."  
><em>Very well. We shall leave now. We will not return <em>  
>"Im sorry to drive you from you home." Helen answered thickly as she started to lose consciousness.<br>"... If you dont shut that hole in your face, there will be one less person on this boat!"  
>"And it sure as Hell wont be me, you try anything Buster and Ill shove you off on an iceberg!"<br>Helen roused herself from the cold induced sleepstate and listened to the arguing pair  
>She recognized the voices, but couldnt quite place them. The faces were blurred and unfocused. She lay still in her makeshift boat. The skeletal remaints of a bookshelf. she didnt move even when the lifeboat bumped against her.<br>"God Almighty... Shes breathing!" Maggie reached out and plucked Helen out of the frozen water and deposited her into the boat. "Shes alive."  
>"Not for much longer." Hitches predicted darkly as Helen was wrapped up in several blankets.<br>"Get her some brandy. Come on, Sister. Open your eyes, stay with me. Theres a ship on the way. Just over to the left. we re going to make it."  
>Helen struggled into a sitting positionall around were Islands of light. 13 Lifeboats awaiting rescue. way off in the distance, towering high above them was unmistakably the Carpathia<br>"Alright Ladies. grab an oar and lets row!"Margaret Brown had taken charge of the small boat. Helen wasnt surprised.  
>Despite her prolonged exposure to the feezing water, Helen found she had enough stamina to help row the boat.<br>slowly, they mad thier way to the large ship as the sun rose to illuminate the devastating scene.  
>mountains of ice floated in the water close by. Closer still, were mounds of ice,; frozen bodies of men women and children. Lost,unlucky souls who didnt have a lifeboat or a prayer.<br>Helen kept her head down and rowed steadily. Maggie called out instrutions, keeping the others focussed. "Once we get abord the carpathia, we can rest." she encouraged the tired women to keep going. "Steer us straight Mr Hitchens."  
>"Never thought Id see the day I was taking orders from a woman" Hitchens muttered.<br>"If you dont you may not live long" Helen warned him tensly.  
>It was a long slow process and evv en the inexaughstable Magaret Brown seemed to seemed tired before the end. But finally they reached the large towering ship.<br>broad bold letters in white paint proclaimed the ship The Carpathia The were saved. Helen dropped her oar and collapsed. There was a lot of work yet to do, she was sure. But everything else could wait.  
><em>I hope to see you again someday<em> Helen opened one bleary eye. Most of the women were too absorbed with the carpathia to notice the nearby mermaid. Helen nodded  
><em>I would like that as well. I run a sanctuary for those whom the humans do not acknowledge. <em>She thought, knowing the mermaid would somehow hear her. She watched the wild green head disapear below the waves again.  
>"Alright Helen. Its your turn now." Maggies brisk voice brought Helen back to her surroundings. A swinglike contraption was lowered from the side of the ship Helen was placed on the platform and she was raised up to the deck where a dozen hands pulled her aboard, wrapping a blanket over her shoulders and placing a cup of hot sludge known as coffee.<p> 


	44. April 15 2:45 pm

**April 15 2:45 pm**

* * *

><p>After a few hours of sleep (at the captains insistance.)Helen returned to the<br>top deck. On all sides, Helen could see the people she didnt know, but  
>recognized them by the same shattered look. Her fellow survivors looked lost<br>scared and frazzled. Helen knew the feeling all too well.  
>Some sat huddled together talking in low voices. Others stared straight ahead,<br>not making any noise or movement. a few simply cried.  
>Helen sighed and headed for the marconi room. Surely news of the titanic would<br>get out could send word out to James and Nigel that she was  
>fine.<br>Helen turned the last corner and ran headlong into a tall thin disheveled man.  
>"Pardon me, I wasnt watching where I was going-" Helen looked up and her voice<br>died in her throat. J Bruce Ismay stood before her.  
>"Dr. Magnus!" Ismay exclaimed in shock. "I cant tell you how glad I am to see<br>you. I've looked everywhere for Captain Smith-"  
>"You wont find him." Helen sighed "He wouldn t have left the ship with people<br>on board."  
>Ismay paledat the vieled accusation. "Dr. Magnus, please understand. There was<br>nothing I could do. I'm nuse to anyone there werent any women or  
>childrenthat wanted to climb into the boat. The seat would have been empty<br>wasted."  
>Helen listened to him grovel with a frown."History will remember you as the man<br>responsible for all this. Youre the one who made all this happen." She intoned  
>solemnly. Ismay looked at her in shock. Helen brushed past him and ept waling..<br>she knocked carefully at the marconi room.  
>"how much to send a message?" Helen pulled her makeshift shawl closer to her<br>shoulders and moved silently along the deck. the mood on board the Carpathia  
>was silent and morose. the wight of what had already been dubbed the titanic<br>disater was starting to sink in. Helen saw faces she recognized here and there.  
>Noone seemedready to discuss what they had neen through. As it was, Helen wasnt<br>ready to open up about her own ordeal. She kept her head down and moved  
>swiftly across the deck. Shesoon got lost in her own musings, paying no heed to<br>where she was going and nearly colided with someone else.  
>"Beg pardon, miss." a familiar voice said. Helen looked up to see she had<br>nearly run over the baker yet again.  
>"Hello Dr. Magnus." The Wendigo smiled. "Im quite pleased to see you especially<br>considering..." he trailed off with a guilty sigh.  
>Helen gave a genuine smile. "Im glad to see you as well. I thought you had<br>refused a boat?"  
>"I think I got a drop too much.." Joughlin held up his wisky flask.<br>"After the Titanic had completely been submerged, I stepped onto the bow of the  
>ship. After that I swam a bit and found Maynard. He held onto my hands so I<br>wouldnt get swept away. I survived three hours in the freezing Atlantic.  
>Thanks to him and a nice draught of Whisky." He smiled. "Dr Oloughlin was<br>thinking along the same vein. I saw him raiding the liquer cabnet just before  
>2"<br>"Dr Oloughlin?" Helen asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.  
>"I dont think he made it. Ive been searching for him. He was a good man."<br>"He was indeed." Helen nodded. "And an excellent Doctor."  
>"He may yet be." The head baker held his flask up in tribute. "I If you ll<br>excuse me, I have to check in with Lightoller. He s the highest ranking  
>officer they ve found thus far. "<br>Helen nodded again "Alright then, take care of yourself."  
>"And you as well miss- Dr. Magnus." Dr. Oloughlin nodded back as he bustled<br>off.  
>"Has anyone seen my husband? My children?" a woman ran up and down the deck,<br>asking people at random about missing family members. Most shook their heads  
>sadly. Helen Venturened they didnt know her language.<br>Helen crossed the deck and placed ahand on the womans shoulder. "I'll help you  
>find your family." She said in in the womans language. "Perhaps we could ask<br>Mr. lightoller?"  
>"Yes thank you" the woman nodded with a shaky smile of apreciation. "I am<br>looking for my Husband Johan Asplund. And our children Felix, Lillian, Carl,  
>Clarence and Filip"<br>"Thats quite a lot." Helen said in surprise.  
>nodded "We were on our way home to Massechusettes. My husband had<br>some buisness to settle in out native Sweaden. His mother was ill and his  
>father had just died."<br>Helen listened sympathetically as she lead the waty to the bridge. guessing  
>they would know where lightoller was.<br>The captain Rostron nodded gravely as Helen explained the situation. "Ive heard a similiar story from just about everyone. "He sighed. "In the main  
>dining room, some of the womwn have set up a help center to locate and unite<br>family members. Maybe her family is already there?"  
>Helen and Mrs Asplund thanked the captain and set off for the first class<br>dining hall.  
>The crowded room was full with lamenting cries and rushed conversations. Helen<br>took a deep breath and turned to Maggie Brown, who was inthe center of the  
>chaos,trying to restore order. 3 children ran forward out of the croud calling<br>for their Asplund smiled and embarced the 2 boys and the little  
>girl. Helen smiled at the reunited family and headed back out to the deck.<br>There was so much left to do. The worst was yet to come.

* * *

><p><strong>Notes<strong> Felix, Lillian, Clarence and Selma Asplund were real people. One of the  
>greatest losses on Titanic was the father and 3 sons (One a twin brother to<br>Lilian) of the Asplund family.


	45. April 18 1912 11:45 Pm New York

**April 18 1912 11:45 Pm New York**

* * *

><p>Helen allowed the tide of human flotsom carry her to the already crowded pier. Along with the rest of titanics refugees. She wasnt sure what she should feel. Fear relief gratitude? Guilt anger shame? Hope? Exaughstion? Over the past two days she had felt them all. Had seen them on the desperate faces the blurred one into the next, 700 faces awash in turmoil. Worse than the frightened unfamiliar faces were the missing ones. Smug Cameron, dangerously charming Kolya. Self assured Mr Guigenhiem. Lillian Goodwin and her brother Charles. The good natured Dr Oloughlin. The solenm but friendly Thomas Andrews. Brave John Astor.<br>"God almighty I dont believe it Dr Magnus." Helen turned at the shocked brisk voice of Magaret Brown. The tough rugged woman was a pleasant sight for Helens sore eyes.  
>"Im pleased to see you, up and about. and none the worse for wear so to speak." Despite looking tired and haggard, Maggie gave a small smile, which Helen tried to return. "You were touch and go for a while. Good to see you pulled through."<br>"Yes well I supose I'm made of sterner stuff than I look" Helen repeated something her father said of her quite often.  
>Maggie nodded. "Well we women aint so dainty and breakable as men seem to think, are we? We re setting up some relief areas on the docks, blankets food family locatoion... If theres anything we can do for you, come find me there."<br>"I would like to help with that." Helen replied quickly. There were a lot of people who could use help and she didnt like to sit idle.  
>Maggies smile broadened. "Much obliged, and Im sure a doctors care would be greatly apriciated."<br>Steady rain fell over the dock, soaking rescuers and refugees alike. Helen walked through the fine mist that rose, ignoring her own exaughstion to help those around her.  
>A small boy stood in the middle of the dock, heedless of those around him. he called out in itallian for his mother. Helen knelt down and tried to smile.<br>"My name is Helen. Im going to help you." she soothed.  
>"I want my mama." the boy sniffed. Helen nodded softly<br>"Where is your mother?" Helen asked, looing aroud the crowd. "where did you last see her?"  
>"On the titanic." The boy answered. " A strange man took me from her and brought me here. Then he left."<br>"Where is your father?" Helen asked.  
>"With Mama." The boy sniffed and fellinto Helens arms. She picked him up and carried him to a refugee tent.<br>"This boy says his parents were both on titanic when she sank." Helen explained. "I dont think they made it off."  
>"Poor little dear." The woman in charge sighed and wrapped a blanket around the boy. "Hes not the first with a story like that. Best we can do is send out a message to seee if he has any relatives who can take him in. Perhaps an uncle here in New york?" She handed the boy over to another woman, who carried him off. "We ll get him something to eat and clean him up. Then find his family."<br>Helen ducked back out of the tent and walked aimlessly over the doc. She wasnt sure what she was looing for, or who she mght find. Worse yet who wouldnt she find? Sudden movement caught the corner of her eye. A girl with brown pigtails and a ragged blue dress. Helen held her breath.  
>Could it be the same girl? Helen turned to follow her. The girl moved swiftly through the crowds. Helen caught a glimpse now and againbut the ner target disapeared. She stopped and sighed as the figure disapeared forever from her life.<br>Helen sighed turned back toward the pier where Titanics survivors were stranded. after two steps something caught on her heel making her look down.  
>Tenderly, Helenpicked up the bedragled cloth. It was a silk handkerfchief embroidered with the initials HM.<br>Her initials.  
>Helen hugged the precious treasure close and waled slowly bac to the salty drenched dock.<br>The quay was empty but for the last few searchers. people looking for loved ones that werent there, calling out names that belonged to the wind.  
>Helen collapsed on a small cargo bin and closed her eyes. she was soaked through and freezing cold. She was sure she would never feel warm again.<br>Helen found she didnt care. 60 years was long enough. She would stay here and be another casualty of the Titanic Disaster. Something about the anonaminity of that apealed to her. She let her head drop and surrendered to death.  
>This was how Nikola Tesla found his old friend. "Helen? Wake up love. Come on Helen, get up. We have to go, theres nothing here. Lets go."<br>Helen was vaugly aware of being lifted up. she moaned weakly in protest. Nikola almost dropped her in relief.  
>"Thank god! Youre alive!" He sighed and held her close. "Now come with me. I'm going to take care of you." She could hear the signature arrogant smirk in his voice.<br>"This better be a delusion." Helen groaned. "Im going to kill Watson."  
>And then she fainted.<p> 


	46. April 24 1912 3:35 am

**April 24 1912 3:35 am**

* * *

><p>Helen grew aware of water. Soft splashing and light gurgling. Helen opened her eyes and started up in alarm. Strong arms wrapped around her shoulders and held her in place. "Shhh its alright Helen. I got you." Nikola whispered, letting go as he felt her relax into the hot bath. Helen looked around. She was in a porcelin tub full of steaming water and thick white foam. Niola carefully brushed the ice and rain from her hair whispering in a strange mix of Serbian and latin. Helen stopped listening as her eyes drooped and she fell back into the waiting darkness.<p>

Helen became aware suddenly that she was awake and had been for hours. Her body shook violently as though every joint in her body were about to become unhinged. She realized quickly she wasnt shivering, but crying.  
>Helen was wrapped in 3 blankets and a strong pair of arms. She was no longer cold.<br>"You should have left me there,Nikola."She heaved angerly between sobs "I was ready to die."  
>"You dont mean that Helen. One day youll forgive me for this. You have your whole life ahead of you."<br>"Yes and thats just it isnt it? I could live forever. I could outlive You!"  
>"Oh hey lets not get carried away!" Nikola said hurridly. Helen laughed in spite of herself.<br>"Be serious Nikola." she said weakly. Johns gone. What do I have left? My lifes work has been taking care of others. I know its selfish but I want someone to look after me. To love me for who I am. To know everything about me. To hold me when Im sad or take care of me when Im sick." She sighed as it all poured out of her. She was too tired and miserable to hold it in.  
>"It isnt selfish what you deserve. But with Johnny, well you bet on the wrong horse there love."<br>Helen huffed stubbornly but she had stopped crying. "We were going to start a family. We were going to set up a sanctuary and have kids and maybe buy a summer home in France."  
>"You can still do all those things, Helen." Nikola soothed. "Youre going to live a long and happy life. Youre going to see the world and fall in love with someone who worships the ground you walk on. Your going to be happy again."<br>"Im all alone." Helen wailed. Nikola pulled her closer protectively, almost possesivly. "No, Helen. You have me and James and Nigel. You have everyone at the sanctuary. Human and abnormal alike. You are loved. Its John thats alone. He s the one that turned his back on us."  
>Helen shook her head. "I dont want to live."<br>Nikola gave her a light shake. "Helen. You cant survive what you just went through and then give up now. That would be selfish."  
>"How many died?"<br>"Helen you cant."  
>"How many Nikola. You know. I know you know." Helen asked sharply.<br>Nikola sighed. "About 1,500. The Mackey bennet went out to recover the bodies. They only found 300 or so. But the rest... they must have sunk. Or floated away. Tragic."  
>Helen nodded. there was no other word for it. Tragic. No other way to describe it.<br>"I met a friend of yours. John Astor. He didnt make it off." She said. "Im sorry Nikola. I thought you should know."  
>Nikola nodded sadly. "Thats a shame. He was anice fellow. I rather liked him."<br>Magnus shifted in her blankets to look at Nikola. "How did you get out of debtors prison?"  
>Nikola shrugged. "Im on probation. White starline used a lot of my patents. I was going to get a big check from them when the Titanic docked." He smirked. "I was going to use the check to pay off my debts. As long as I stayed house bound until it cleared, I was free."<br>Magnus sighed. "But the titanic sank. And you left to come find me? Someone from white star would have seen you." She said. "Theyll throw you back in for sure!"  
>Its worth it to see you, Dearest" Nikola smirked and kissed the top of her head. Helen sighed and snuggled into him.<br>"Thanks Nikola." She sighed as she dozed back off. He pulled her closer and she smiled as warmth spread all over her.

**THE END**


	47. Epilogue

**Saturday, April 14, 2012 11:00 PM. 49° W; 50° N Atlantic Ocean**

* * *

><p>The moon lit the great open expanse of water. The surface was smooth and clear as reflecting glass. Except when the light wind rippled the surface, creating small waves that capped white against the encompassing darkness. The cold night air hung between two halfmoons, one in the sky glowing fiercly amongst a thousand stars and the other reflected deep in the chill, black water. Helen stood on the bow of the ship deep in thought as it glided swiftly throught the water.<br>Will walked up behind her. He was bundled in a heavy parka with his hood pulled tight and still shivering.  
>"Are you ready to talk about why we re out here?"<br>"I told you its personal. And you didnt have to come."  
>Will nodded. "Alright. Whenever youre ready, Im here to listen"<br>"Did you ask Nikola?" She asked suddenly suspicious.  
>Will fidgeted. "Well. Yeah."<br>"And? His answer?"  
>"Ask Helen"<br>Helen smiled "Thats Nikola for you."  
>both turned to the vampire in question as he cut power to the engine. Even through the darkness of the wheelhouse glass, Helen could see His electric blue eyes trained on her. Nikola pulled the micrphone to his mouth and announced queitly "We're Here."<br>Will looked out over the vast nothingness and shivered. "Where is here?"  
>Henry and Kate came up from below decks in full winter gear and looked out over the ocean "Where are we and why are we here?" Henry asked Will who only shook his head and shrugged. Kate shivered violently.<br>"I'm f-f-freezing cold."  
>"last time I was here it was much colder." Helen said calmly.<br>Will stamped his feet to keep warm. "We re all Cold."  
>"Speak for yourself." Nikola smirked and sauntered over. "Vampire remeber?" He turned serious as he caught the look on Helens face. His old friend was staring at the water glassily. "Helen,dear? You dont have to do this." he reached one hand out to her .<br>"Yes I do. I have to be here now Nikola. " she answered in a quavering voice. Will looked around and shook his head. "Theres nothing Here!"  
>"Its Here." Helen replied in a quiet, solemn voice. "12,600 feet below us."<br>Henry squinted down into the dark abyss. "Dude"  
>"Youre absolutely Certain Nikola?" Helen asked, looking at her watch. Nikola smirked arrogantly. "Of course Im sure. I can feel the Iron hullfrom here."<br>"Wait, hull?" Will asked finally putting all the pieces together. This is the site of the _Titanic_?  
>"Whats left of her."Helen answered. "The glass and wood are long gone. painting Ink Paper... I remeber spending hours in the first class library." She sighed and fell silent.<br>Nikola pulled a small gold medalion from his pocket and caressed it with his thumb absently. Will looked at him quizzically. Niola Tesla, as far as he new, was never very religeous.  
>"Is that a saints medalion?" Will asked in surprise. Nikola nodded and handed it to him. "A young Serbian boy gave it to me about 100 years ago."<br>"Do you mean that figurativly or litterally?" Henry asked cautiosly as will handed the medal back. "Which Saint is that?"  
>"In Serbia, he is known as Saint Nikola"<br>"Great. The Patron Saint of Arrogance." Henry muttered. Kate grinned.  
>"So are you gonna chuck it overboard like that lady at the end of the movie?"<br>Nikola shook his head. "No. Palve made it to New york with_ Mater _and _Pater_ His story belongs to the living." Nikola slipped the medalion carefully back into his pocket. "Not the huge chunk of steel 2 and a half miles under the ocean. He survived something no one his age should ever have gone through. He wasnt claimed by the sea."  
>"What happened to Palve?" Will asked cautiously. Nikola shrugged.<br>"I dunno. I kept tabs on him for a few decades but I lost track about 70 years ago. Last I heard he was living comfortably with a good job. Married with two or three healthy, happy kids." He smiled and turned to Helen. Who sighed.  
>"Its a shame about Astor."<br>"Its a shame about Morgan." Nikola shrugged.  
>"NIKOLA!" Helen shot acusingly. Her watched beeped and she nodded to herself.<br>"Its time Helen." Nikola said solemnly, pulling a small wood box from his coat. Helen opened it and removed a single white rose.  
>"Not to be cold... so to speak."Henrey said. "But why are we here?"<br>"To remeber the 1,500 people who died here. And to pay respect to those who made it to new york. The other survivors couldnt come."  
>"Magnus, youre the only one still alive." Will pointed out gently<br>"I know. Thats why I had to come." she answered and threw the rose into the water. It bobbed for a moment on the surface, the whit petals shining in the moonlight against the blackness of the water. Then it slowly sank to the wheelhouse below.  
>Nikola wrapped a comforting arm around Helen. She leaned carefullly into his arms and sighed.<br>After a few long silent moments she nodded. "Lets. Go."  
>Niola returned to the wheelhouse of the yacht and revved the engine, turning back toward shore. Helen moved to the stern and watched the scene of the event that claimed so many lives, and almost her own. As it disapeared over the horizon, Helen Magnus vowed to never be so cold again.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

**The Medalion** Palve gave to Nikola is The Patron Saint Nicholas,protector of children. In Serbian Nicholas translates to Nikola. A happy accident I assure you.  
><strong>JP Morgan<strong> Was an investor who backed Edison and snubbed Nikola. Morgan was suposed to be on the _Titanic, _after supporting Ismay finacially, but backed out on the last minute. To say He and Tesla didnt get along would be an understatement.  
><strong>The Reason <strong>Helen (Or- well,_ I_) chose a white rose is because White Roses symbolyze peace and remeberence. Also, it's from nature so it will degrade in time; many historians would consider anything permanent left on the _Titanic Expos factos_ as 'litter'. Not just because its my favorite flower.  
><strong>The Scientific term<strong> for the deepest part of the ocean is in fact called an _Abyss_ Fun lil tidbit

_Signing off:_

Glitch 'Advisor to the Queen'

Slainte, Hobbit

* YourSweetDemise


End file.
